Names

Well, I have been asked by many what our other name choices were so thought I would share and then I'll have a record for myself :)

We never officially had a name for a girl, maybe a sign that we were having a boy?

We had Jack on the list from pretty early on and it was "the boy name" by about 25 weeks I think. Julia was into The Incredibles at the time and kept calling the baby in mommy's tummy "Jack". Whether she got it from the movie or not I will never know. It was especially consistent when we went camping in June. It really grew on us from then on and in Julia's mind this was indeed Baby Jack and there was no alternative name. She INSISTED that the baby was her brother, and his name was Jack.

Oliver was added in September. Jon's cousin had just had a baby boy (Benjamin Clive) and we hadn't been told the name yet and were waiting to hear. I texted Jon that afternoon and said "Jack Oliver!", as in "I've had an epiphany and if we have a boy I love that name, what do you think!" Jon freaked out thinking it was his cousin's baby's name. His phone conveniently died shorty after so he was left thinking it was their baby's name, and apparently ranted about it to Dallas. When I was able to explain that I liked that for OUR BABY we decided that it was definitely the name. Jon is not one to care so much so I took it as a good sign! Oliver had come up earlier because I liked it as a first name but Jon said it was a no-go...I got my way in one way or another!

When I was in labour I cried, yes cried, because I was thinking the baby was a girl and I didn't have "the girl name". Yes we could settle on something but it upset me that I didn't love any particular name and this would be our "daughters" name for her whole life! The name we would have gone with probably would have been Madelyn Audrey, I had tried to convince myself that "she" was Evelyn but it never really fit. Other names we liked as we went were: Mackenzie which we had really liked for only about a week before it got crossed off the list, Elizabeth I liked but couldn't commit because I don't like "Liz" and it seemed inevitable as a nickname, although now I think "Ellie" would be cute. Jon didn't like it anyway so it doesn't matter lol. Jon LOVES the name Anna but we felt we couldn't go there because I have a young cousin, Anna Olivia, and we are very close to their family. I love it too. Audrey was another name that I loved. Jon's grandmother in England is Audrey and she is the sweetest lady. He didn't like it because it reminds him of an old lady (go figure), but said he thought it would be nice for a middle name. Other names we liked but didn't think sounded right with Julia were: Peyton Elizabeth and Emerson. Jon never really liked Emerson but I liked it for awhile. Peyton we both liked but it didn't fit.

Other names for boys we liked were: Gavin, Leo (My Dad's legal first name), Benjamin (taken later on anyway), Owen, and Henry (Jon doesn't like it but I love it).

The other options for middle names were:

Jack Aubrey
Jack Avery
Jack Owen
Jack Brendon

I am happy to say we went with Jack Oliver! I love the name Jack for my sweet baby boy and for my future rambunctious toddler, little boy, teenager, young man, adult and old man! A classic, strong, masculine name :)

He is certainly a Jack!

6 weeks

I really can't believe 6 weeks has gone by already. My little boy has grown so much in such a short time. When I brought him home he was just 6.5 lbs and so tiny and delicate. Now he is 10 lbs and changing every day, becoming stronger and more aware. He is definitely his own little man. Its beautiful how every person is their own person right from day 1. Jack loves to be held, he really doesn't like to be put down! Lucky for him I am forever enjoying the cuddles and closeness. He is a sweet little boy. Unfortunately Jack has some gas issues and gets quite uncomfortable. I feel terrible for him when theres not much I can do but hold him and rock him. He is starting to coo and is very smiley when fed, napped and changed. He especially loves his sister and has been saving his big smiles for her. They already have such a bond and it is so sweet. He follows her around the room with his eyes. Julia has been such a great big sister and really adores him.

Right now Jack has blue eyes, not sure if they will stay or change but all we know is that Julia's started very dark gray/blue and turned brown within the first week. He has dark hair that fell out on the top but is already growing back in! He has about 3-4 cowlicks but we'll have to wait and see for sure when his real hair grows in. The soft newborn hair isn't the real deal!

I hope to start another blog soon after Christmas about life with 2 kids, but until then I'll post little updates here!

My beautiful son

On November 2nd at 2:07 am, Jack Oliver, was born.
My sweet baby was indeed a boy- my first intuition. A good sign to trust that first instinct in life!

Following is his birth story. Very detailed as I want to remember everything.

Jack’s Birth Story

My hope for this birth was to have a VBAC, go into labour naturally and experience as natural a birth as possible.

My due date was November 21st by ultrasound, and November 23rd by my last menstrual period.
At 4:00 am, November 1st, I woke up from strange dreams of having contractions and being uncomfortable. I let myself wake up thinking it was just dreams, until the next one came, followed by another about 10 minutes later. I kept thinking to myself, “these are not just uncomfortable, they are on the verge of painful”. Braxton hicks? I couldn’t be sure, but I wasn’t even officially full-term at that point, and I wasn’t really considering that this could be the beginning of labour. It couldn’t be, I was expecting to go late, possibly even into December as I had gone long overdue with Julia. I tried to go back to sleep but my mind was in full gear. I woke Jon up and told him what was going on, he was a little bit groggy but as soon as he saw me have a contraction he simply said, “This is it”. This sent me into a bit of a panic, nothing was ready. I had put off a thorough cleaning of the house thinking I had weeks to go, I hadn’t washed the baby clothes, hadn’t prepared the room, but most importantly I hadn’t let myself prepare mentally. I wasn’t ready in any aspect. I cried from feeling overwhelmed, Jon held me and rubbed my back with a gentle calmness about him. He smiled and reminded me that we were going to have a baby, possibly very soon, and nothing could be more exciting and beautiful. He gave me enough sanity to get out of bed and see if we could figure out if this was false labour or the real deal. I tried walking around to see if that stopped the contractions or slowed them down- no luck. I had some juice, and some granola and yogurt- still contracting. My final test was getting in the bath, which would surely stop it if it was indeed false labour. I was still having contractions about 9 minutes apart. I knew I should get some sleep, but I had lost any sense of being tired. Jon saw that I was starting to get anxious and he got straight to work doing the baby laundry, trying to tidy up the baby’s room, cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, tidying up around the living room and trying to make up for weeks worth of nesting at 5 am. When I got out of the bath, I couldn’t help but do a more thorough cleaning of the bathroom. I still wasn’t sure I was in labour for real, I wasn’t convinced.
I sent my Mom a text message at about 7:30 am to let her know I was having contractions that were about 8-10 minutes apart, not necessarily regular- but painful. She told me she was going to make arrangements to fly out from Calgary with my Dad, and I told her to wait until I knew if I was in labour for sure or not. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, she told me she had just woken from a vivid dream and I’d had a boy. They were on their way.
I sent my doula, Patricia, a text message to let her know things might be taking off. She wrote back letting me know she was prepared and to keep drinking lots. I called Pomegranate to find out who which of my midwives was on call. It was Beth, but I was to page Amelia, the student midwife. I talked to Amelia for a minute and she said it sounded like early labour but it could go either way and we would just have to wait and see if things would peter off, or keep progressing. Beth phoned me a little while later and I was to call her when my contractions were 3 minutes apart (from beginning of one to beginning of the next), and lasting about a minute.
Julia woke up around 9:00 and Jon fed her breakfast and put on some cartoons for her. She was concerned when she saw me have a contraction, “you okay, Momma?” By this time I was breathing through them and couldn’t speak or walk until the contraction was over. My sister arrived at about 9:30 to take Julia. While they were getting ready to leave, my contractions stopped for about 30 minutes. This made me more sceptical of being in true labour. As soon as they left the contractions returned, and became very regular at 8 minutes apart. Things took off from this point and it was a matter of breathing through contractions and walking around the house trying to find little odd jobs to do to keep distracted. I didn’t have any appetite but when I finally felt a little craving for pizza from the night before I jumped on it and ate a piece.
At noon I had bloody show, and by about 2:00 pm it finally dawned on me that this baby was coming, there was no doubt about it. I wondered if it would be that same day, November 1st, or November 2nd. My Mom and Dad arrived shortly after this realization and things began to pick up a bit. Contractions were about 7 minutes apart and lasting a minute. I was feeling them growing in intensity and wondered what was yet to come.
It was later on at about 5 pm when my Mom sent Jon, my Dad and Julia out for dinner. I was sleeping in between contractions at that point. They didn’t go too far, just to Westview near our house. About 10 minutes after Jon left I felt anxious- I really needed him close to me. My Mom called and he ran all the way back from Westview. His face was really cold and he was breathing heavily from running. My amazing guy. He massaged me and helped me through the contractions. I decided it was definitely time to call Patricia and have her come, I needed the support.
She arrived shortly after while I was in the shower. The shower felt amazing, the relief it offered was just what I needed when I started to feel overwhelmed. Patricia turned the lights off and had a nice candle in the bathroom to create a serene mood. She offered to bring the birth ball into the shower for me to sit on and I agreed to give it a try. It helped tremendously. I was just bouncing on the ball with the hot water hitting my back. When the hot water ran out I got out and tried different positions to deal with the contractions as they became stronger. The birth ball was great. I was able to sit on a chair and sleep a little bit more between contractions, and from there it became very intense.
The contractions were very strong and long, I could feel the baby being hugged tightly and knew it was getting closer. I was surprised by how powerful the contractions were, not just the pain of them, but knowing they were doing the work needed to be done. My body had taken over; a new sense of my own self had emerged. It was a very intense, spiritual realization. I went in the shower again until the hot water ran out again. By the time the contractions were 3 minutes apart from beginning of the first to the beginning of the next I became fearful. Patricia was very wise in finding the root of the fears and exploring them carefully. It wasn’t that I could not tolerate the pain, I was fearing what was yet to come. I was very anxious about the car ride to the hospital. Not a fear of giving birth in the car, but of the pain and how I would deal with it while in the restrictions of the car. We called Beth and tried to decide if she would come to the house first or meet us at the hospital. I had wanted to stay at home as long as possible in labour. With contractions 3 minutes apart and because of my anxiety of the car ride we decided to go and meet Beth at St. Paul’s. We called my Mom to come back to the house and drive us; she had gone for dinner to give us some time at home. She arrived and Jon loaded the car with the hospital bag packed that morning and the cord blood kit. Patricia came in the car with us. We left the house just before 10 pm.
I got in the car and Patricia had me go on all fours in the back seat to see if that helped through contractions. The car ride was very difficult and felt very long. I was having back-to-back contractions and they were very intense. I felt like I was going to panic, it was quite a long drive from our house even though the timing worked out perfectly with traffic. A Sunday night at 10 pm was optimal for getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. Patricia switched me into a sitting position at the edge of the seat in the car. That helped a bit but was still very uncomfortable. When we arrived at the Emergency entrance I got out of the car, had a contraction, walked into the ER, had a contraction, sat in a wheelchair, had a contraction. They were right on top of each other. We got up to the Maternity ward and I was grateful to have taken the hospital tour earlier so I felt familiar with where I was. Beth was waiting for us as soon as we got there. She took me into an assessment room and checked my vitals, and to see how dilated I was. I was at 4 cm. I felt a little discouraged but was in a deep concentration and didn’t really register the information. They had to wait on something, I can’t remember what exactly, but I was promised the shower and jet tub in the room we were waiting for. That got me through the few minutes of waiting. When the room was ready I walked over, one contraction against the wall and felt a trickle of water down my leg. My water had broken. Right away the contractions became much stronger and closer together. They turned the shower on to fill up the tub and give me some relief at the same time. When the tub was filled I sat down and didn’t find as much relief as I’d hoped. They contractions were right on top of each other. The on-call resident OB came in and talked to me about fetal monitoring, I had to sign a waiver saying I declined it although I knew the risks associated with a VBAC. Then they put in a saline lock as a precaution. I was in so much pain in the bath tub and started to panic. I asked for an epidural. Patricia kept talking me down very gently and encouraged me with how far I’d gotten and what a good job I was doing. She told me she had seen a lot of women in labour and I was handling it very, very well relative to a lot of women. I asked again, a little more franticly this time. Beth went over the risks and effects of the epidural again and told me the procedure that would need to take place before I could get one. It would be a long wait and I was already dealing with the contractions well. She offered me the gas and I declined. My rationalizing was that it was all or nothing for the pain. I wanted the epidural. Beth asked me to try the gas before we went for an epidural. I agreed. I tried it, didn’t even use it through one contraction and told them to get it away from me. That didn’t do anything for me except make me feel more nauseous. I needed to breathe through the contractions and the gas made it impossible to do that effectively. I was really becoming frantic again and needed to get out of the bath. I felt like I couldn’t handle any more. They got me up on the bed and Beth checked me again. 5 cm dilated. I felt like I was going to throw up. All that echoed in my head was “approximately 1 hour for each centimetre dilation”. I asked again for the epidural. They told me they had to put the fetal monitor on for 20 minutes and get the blood work back before I could even speak to the an anaesthesiologist about an epidural. I had no choice either way but to work through the contractions for the time being. I let them put the fetal monitor on. The contractions were right on top of each other, I was barely getting any break in between. I couldn’t believe the intensity and power behind them. I was very frightened of still having 5 hours of increasing pain to get through. I knew I was at my limit, I couldn’t go further. I was switching positions trying to work through contractions and they just kept coming one right after the other, stronger and stronger. I felt like I was going to throw up, I suddenly became extremely nauseated and my body started shaking. Then I felt something different, my body pushed. I told Patricia I felt strong pressure like I needed to have a bowel movement. She watched me for a minute and then informed Beth that I was indeed pushing. I thought that was the end of my VBAC dream. I had heard of so many women who pushed too soon without control and had ended up with a c-section because their cervix became swollen and the baby couldn’t pass down the birth canal. Beth was so calm and told me it was okay, told me to let my body do what it needed to do. “Push if you need to push.” She checked me once again and was very surprised to say I was 10 cm. Everyone was shocked. From 5-10 in just under an hour. This explained the intensity of my labour at the end, why I was feeling like I couldn’t handle more, but in beautiful perspective my body truly had only given me what I could handle. Beth told me she really didn’t think I needed the epidural, I was ready to push. I said SCREW THE EPIDURAL, I’m going to have this baby! The pushing contractions were much more tolerable and felt productive. They brought in the squatting bar and I tried pushing a bit with it. It wasn’t very comfortable for me in that position and I moved to a standing position against the bed. My legs were very shaky and I felt like I just wanted to sit on the toilet. It worked for awhile to just sit there in the dark and push with the contractions. Everyone was so calm and quiet, it was a very serene environment and that helped me to stay calm and keep going. I got back on the bed and found the best pushing position to be on my side with my legs held up, or on my back. The pushing process is a blurry memory, I was really in a zone. My Mom was there, sitting in the room quietly. I could look at her for reassurance and no words were needed. Her love was unspoken and helped me through to the end. When I felt the baby descending I could really push more effectively and things started to go a little faster. Beth would put her hand on the baby’s head and tell me to push her hand away. I could feel the head moving down more with each hard push at the end of the contraction. They offered the mirror so I could see the progress but I declined knowing it wasn’t what I needed to get to the end. Jon held my hand and I squeezed it through the pushes. He had one leg and Patricia held the other up. They told me I could feel the head and I did. My sweet baby’s head was soft and warm, squishy and I could feel the hair. I kept pushing and felt the burning start as the head crowned. Beth coached me through it with breathing and pushing instruction and soon the little head was out. I looked at Jon and I saw the absolute love and adoration on his face as he watched his child being brought into the world. He kept telling me he loved me and encouraging me. He quickly switched positions with my Mom and she held my hand for the final pushes. At 2:07 am on November 2nd, 2009 Jon caught the baby as it slid out of me. I will never forget the look on his face. He held the baby tummy down and lifted gently into the air, “Its a boy, Kira, he’s a boy!” They brought my sweet baby boy right onto my bare chest and I held his warm little body against mine. He was crying gently as they rubbed him with a cloth and he took his first breaths. “Hi Jack,” I said. “I love you.” It was beautiful. Euphoric. Everything I ever imagined and more. I was reassured instantly that I could love this baby boy as much as my first, he was perfect.
Jack found his way to my breast by himself and latched beautifully on his first try when he was ready.
There was such little interference with everything about his birth. I was able to let my body do it, and let Jack do what he needed to do. I felt so blessed to have such an amazing birth team. They were truly inspirational and made my birth experience so amazing. Every single person in the room had helped me bring my son into the world. My amazing husband whom I fell in love with even more through this experience. My Mother whose love I felt in the room the whole time without any words, witnessing her first birth- her first grandson, I am forever her baby. Beth- my midwife, a strong woman and so wise and calm; a true advocate of birth as a natural process. Patricia- my doula, a very maternal, gifted and beautiful woman who knew how to keep me focused and feel safe. The nurse was great as well, supported my birth wishes and worked beautifully with Beth- I wish I remembered her name.
Jack Oliver Farrell Simons was born November 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 am. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz, was 19.5 inches, had a head full of brown hair and grey/blue eyes.
3 weeks early. 22 hours from the very first contraction to the birth of my beautiful son. 4-10 centimetres in 2 hours, 2 hours of pushing. No tears. A natural birth, a successful VBAC. We were home by 2:00 pm the same day, 12 hours after Jack was born. I wanted to be at home with my family. I wanted a natural birth, to go into labour naturally and for my baby to be born the way nature intends. Jack’s birth was exactly what I wanted it to be. It was so beautiful.

H1N1 and all that jazz

Well I have to say I have had a pretty intense internal struggle making this decision. I have researched as much as I possibly can, weighed the pros and cons, read a lot of articles, talked to a lot of people both professionals in the health care field and friends and family.

The biggest issue I have stumbled upon is the fact that I am in THE high risk group. This would be a completely different story if I wasn't pregnant- especially in the last month of my pregnancy. The answer would be simple- I would not get the vaccine. But I have had to take into account a couple of things:

a) We are all more susceptible to this virus because it is so new and our bodies cannot recognize it and fight it off as easily as the 'ol seasonal flu (a reason many people have only had "the flu" once, if not at all). We have all been exposed to the seasonal flu since infancy and our bodies create a strong wall against it through the years.

b) As being 36 weeks pregnant, I really cannot risk being very ill with a flu right before/during labour. I need all my strength.

c) For myself, it is quite inevitable that I will get this virus, I don't usually get the small colds and bugs that go around...but I seem to get all the bad ones, and I get very sick when I do get them. I have developed pneumonia from the flu before, and that was without any underlying medical conditions. I know from experience that I do not do well with respiratory illnesses, this seems to be a weak point for my immune system.

d) My baby is going to be born right in the midst of flu season, around Christmas time, and exposed to this virus right from day 1. I am already feeling anxious about people touching and being around the baby in the case that I do need to go to the mall, the grocery store, etc. I am going to have to keep him/her as concealed as possible from the general public. This feels a little overprotective but I do not want to risk my child getting a flu as a newborn, it would be a terrible situation.

e) Even if I can avoid this flu until after the baby is born- do I really want to be very ill with a newborn and a 2 year old? Could I handle it? Could I handle it if the baby were to become ill, and Julia too?

f) I cannot isolate myself enough to the point where I would be avoiding the virus completely. Jon works, goes to the store for groceries, works with other people. If he comes into contact with it, it can easily be spread to our home.

g) How would I feel if Julia became very ill from this? If I knew there was something I could have done. She is in the second highest "high risk" group being between 6 months-5 years old. It is another question as to if I should get her vaccinated as well...and I have to think about this in terms of all or nothing. If I get it, it really isn't as effective unless Julia and Jon are vaccinated as well.

h) The vaccine is not as tested and tried as I hoped it would be. It makes me nervous. How would I feel if down the road something comes up with my baby and it is linked to this vaccine? From all the reading and research I've done I've come to an understanding that the actual vaccine is very similar to the seasonal flu vaccine, however, I don't get the flu vaccine on an annual basis. I have had it before, with no ill effects, but I choose not to get it even still.

i) I believe our immune systems should be built naturally. I am not against childhood vaccinations, but I do think "the flu shot" is unnecessary unless I am a senior citizen. This is different though. This is me, pregnant. This is a time where I really cannot afford to be sick.

j) Hospitals and clinics are probably the worst place I can possibly find myself in if I want to avoid the virus. I will be in the hospital twice in the next 3 months- once for birth, and another time for surgery in January. In either situation I do not want to be leaving with the flu!

I think I'm going to get the vaccine. I think I'm going to get Julia the shot too, and Jon.

It's a hard decision when I know that it does technically go against what I believe, but there are risks associated this time and they do outweigh the "possibility" of side effects, etc. I think its the best thing for myself, my baby and my family. I can't protect myself by isolation, or take any other preventative measures at this point. I wash my hands frequently, use hand sanitizer, try to stay out of busy public places. But, I think it is inevitable for me as an individual- especially given my situation right now.

I hope I can live with this decision in peace, and that everything will go smoothly from here on. I am choosing not to listen to the media's hype about all of this, avoiding reading on all the kooky government "conspiracy" theories, and making this decision from my own personal research and beliefs.

To my sweet baby,

I can't sleep tonight and most of my thoughts are circling around you and your arrival. I want to cherish this time we have together, even though I am so eager to meet you and see your sweet little face. These months of carrying you have been a blessing, and it truly is a miracle to know that I have grown you and kept you safe all this time so you can develop into your little self. I know the essence of you has always been, right from the very beginning I have had a sense of you and it is beautiful for me to experience every day, and will be every day of your life.

You are such a gentle soul, an old soul. I have sensed it from the beginning, and you fill me with such a warm charm. It is so amazing to feel you even though I have never met you. Since I first learned I was pregnant I have grown to know you in a very special soul-to-soul way, and you have given me great comfort and assurance throughout the months that you would grow healthy and strong. I feel so peaceful, and so very in love with you. I feel like we have known each other forever and when we meet again it will be a beautiful experience on so many levels.

I hope you are comfortable and cozy in these last few weeks, and that you decide to come when you are good and ready. The way you decide to come into the world is out of my hands and truly in your favour. You are a beautiful little soul. Can't wait to meet you.

I love you,

Momma.

35 weeks and counting!

It has been quite a while since I last posted- unfortunately we still don't have internet hooked up at our new house!

A lot has happened and time has flown by. I can't believe our little one will soon be making an appearance!

To begin, my gall bladder will be removed at the end of January. Unfortunately I found out the worst way possible that I have gall stones and an irritated gall bladder...well probably the only way to find out, but I have had two pretty rough gall stone attacks. Absolutely awful and painful, easily more painful than labour. Now I feel more confident to get through labour actually! I've changed my diet quite drastically and until yesterday I hadn't had any greasy/fast food. Man were my onion rings and chicken fingers good....mmm. Won't be making a habit of it though, had to suffer through heartburn the rest of the day! I was a little concerned with my weight because of cutting fat out of my diet, as I lost almost 3 lbs but have now started to climb back up. I figure I'll have gained almost 25 exactly by full term. Its been easier to stay on track this time, but I also haven't cared for junk food. Makes a huge difference.

Last weekend Jon and I snuck away to Victoria for a last hurrah before we have 2 kids! We stayed at an absolutely beautiful B&B (ambrosiavictoria.com) which included gourmet breakfast (truly delicious, cannot recommend enough!). We walked around downtown Victoria, ate at great restaurants, walked some more, caught a movie, and caught up with each other and had time to really enjoy each other! The room was so nice, and had a jet tub and rain shower. Total luxury compared to our little house with a mattress on the floor (mental note: BUY A BED FRAME ASAP!!). My Dad was great to come stay with Julia for the weekend and she had a fun weekend as well. Everybody was relaxed and happy by Sunday night.

I can officially say I'm uncomfortable. My pelvis feels like its going to break, I'm exhausted by the end of the day- even with a nap. I have braxton-hicks contractions all day and they drive me crazy. I have to breathe through some of them as they can get quite uncomfortable. Its just an inconvenience and I never had them with Julia. Hope its doing some sort of good for preparing for baby's arrival.

This baby is still my zen baby. Very calm and not very active. Lots of sleeping, a couple of nudges and little elbows and knees, but no frantic movements or constant squirms. Sometimes it worries me but I really think this baby is just more of a gentle soul. He/she reacts the most with movement to Daddy's voice over anyone else. Have to mention the hiccups too, at least 5 times a day!

I've been craving candy like crazy. Its the weirdest thing to want silly childish things like sweet tarts, nerds, gummy bears, etc! Can't get enough of it all. I guess I'll take it over craving greasy food like I did with Julia! MMM Halloween is coming!

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. It was so nice to have everyone together, friends and family. The dinner turned out SO good (still got to enjoy Momma's cookin in the comfort of my own home haha). I don't think I've enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner as much as I did this year, well except for when pregnant with Julia I guess! I love the tradition of the holiday, and I'm so happy to share it with my child- soon to be children!.

I'm going to start making receiving blankets soon, I'll make some girly and some boyish and then gift whatever I don't need later! Sewing will be a nice way to feel like I'm nesting without going over the top so early.

To end this post, I really feel confident that baby is a girl! I'm not sure why, but I just have that feeling. Now I can say I have officially gone back and forth strongly in both directions but I think this will last. I would be really surprised if we have a boy. I'm pretty sure its a girl, and especially going through Julia's baby clothes it got me pretty excited and into the baby girl zone. Oooooh either way I can't wait! Getting so anxious and just want to meet this sweet little baby!

I'll try to update more often. More belly pics to come soon. I'm actually quite small, and people don't fail to tell me every freakin day! I apparently don't look as far along as I am, but I'm just glad I'm not looking like a hungry pregnant monster.

Our Sweet Baby!

On Monday we went for our 3D Ultrasound and got a beautiful glimpse at our little baby! It was so clear this time and we were able to watch 30 minutes of what our little one was up to! To summarize, the baby was trying, and eventually succeeded, in sucking on his/her toes! I was amazed to see baby open his/her eyes, grab the umbilical cord, hold the toes. Baby was yawning, and we saw the little tongue sticking out too!

I really can't even put into words how much I love this little one already, and how amazing is it that I can't even label it as a girl or a boy! I just love the baby so much as is, its an incredible feeling! The little pouty mouth and chin, little ears, a cute button nose so similar to Julia's! The ultrasound tech kept commenting on how chubby this little one is already (based on 28 weeks), and sure enough we saw chubby little feet, a chubby chest and cutie chubby cheeks! The weight was approx. 3 lbs and a couple of ounces which is on the larger size! We were able to see that baby has hair already, and I was delighted to see a little widow's peak to match Jon! Much more defined than Julia's rounded hair line!! In my opinion this baby already looks a lot like Jon, more so than Julia, although there are many similarities to Julia as well- Jon's qualities I'm thinking!

We were really leaning towards thinking the baby is a boy, but I can't seem to commit to that guess! I guess I can imagine a girl easier, even though I feel like it is a boy. I was thinking earlier today, I probably wouldn't be surprised either way! It really is a 50/50 and I don't think intuition or the way the pregnancy has been going can factor in to the probability! Keeps me wondering for sure, is this a sweet little boy? Or a sweet baby girl with a very different personality than Julia!

I can't stop looking at the pictures, such a sweet little face.

Third Trimester!

As of yesterday I have started the third trimester. There is still 12 weeks to go until babys due date, but its really gone by quickly since the 20 week mark! I am feeling pretty good other than the heartburn incident, which luckily hasn't been back in full force *knock on wood*. I am just being really careful about what I eat now, especially at night!

I really can't wait to see my baby, I can feel little knees and feet and wonder who this little person is! I am still having moments where I feel like I need to know if its a boy or a girl, but I'm glad we are waiting...for the most part haha!

Tomorrow we are going for the 3D Ultrasound and I am so excited to get a glimpse! Hopefully baby cooperates and we get some nice, clear pictures. I will (hopefully)post the 3D images and a new belly pic tomorrow.

3 months to go!

A night to forget!

Last night I woke up at 2:30 with the most agonizing pain in my upper back, ribcage and chest in general. I was actually in panic mode with how sore I felt, it was as if I had been punched super hard in the back and I could barely breathe. I took some zantac as it felt a bit like heartburn but 1000 times worse. When that didn't kick in fast enough I took a tylenol too, and I am VERY hesitant to take any pain killer or drug while pregnant. By 5:00 it had calmed enough to realize it was indeed heartburn and had been by far the worst heartburn I've had in my entire life, and I had acid reflux while growing up! This was absolutely terrible pain. I was contemplating going to the ER it hurt so badly. I am hoping like crazy that this is a one-time deal, but I didn't really eat anything that would off-set such a vicious attack of heartburn! I'm almost at 28 weeks and thats when they say heartburn will kick in...if it's going to be a real problem anyway. If it was this bad now, what will it look like in a couple months?! Scared.

Appointment and a horrible day to follow

I had an appointment with my midwife today. Everything was good, I found out I don't have to do the gestational diabetes screen because I am so low-risk (Yay!). I was right when I thought baby was lying transverse along my pelvis- this baby is LOW. The heartbeat was just below 140 bpm. This baby has a much slower heartbeat than Julia did! It has been between 127-140 bpm. Julia was higher around 155-160 bpm. Aside from feeling like my pelvis is going to fall out of my body I have been feeling great! Another ultrasound is being booked for 32 weeks to check the location of my placenta again. Next midwife appointment is Sept. 15th.

I am pleased to see that this baby is being carried out front and not EVERYWHERE like with Ju! So far all the weight is in the baby bump and I'm seriously hoping I keep growing like this. Last time I felt so huge and bloated by 6 months, I was carrying everywhere and felt so gross! Maybe the weight will come off easier this time...I've only gained 13 lbs and hope to gain no more than 25. I don't even watch what I eat, I just eat healthy! I'm very pleased :D

The rest of my day was less than an adventure. I came out of my appointment to see I had a flat tire. Let me re-phrase that, not a flat tire a completely useless tire. It was ripped right open! I was PISSED, and upon looking at my BCAA card found out our membership expired LAST WEEK!! ARGH!! I was on Hastings with Julia in tow, pregnant and it was 25 degrees with no shade. I called a tow truck and it took him almost an hour and a half to get to us. When he finally came we went to get the spare tire from underneath the car and guess what? NO SPARE TIRE. Where the hell it is I have no clue. Might I also add that said tow truck driver barely speaks English. Trying to coordinate where he was towing my freaking car to was a fun game. Luckily when I called a cab a really nice driver came and was very helpful with following Mr. Tow Truck and cheering poor Julia up. He towed us to an Asian Auto Body/Tire shop. This was in sketch-ville and there wasn't really anywhere for us to walk to while they were fixing it. It took another hour for them to get organized and we were stuck outside in the blazing hot sun standing on concrete. My poor baby, I'm so glad I had lots of water and snacks for her in the car. She was good considering the situation but I was still stressed and snappy with her usual 2 year old behaviour. I feel terrible for being such a mean mom today, I apologized to her and she said, "me sorry too mommy". What a sweetheart. Anyway, I got totally ripped off at the auto body on a USED tire. The guy said $370 + labour for a new tire, or $100 for a used tire and labour included. Basically the jerk wanted me to buy his damn used tire. What choice did I have? I got pissy with him and he suggested I call the tow truck company for me to take the car somewhere else (another $100 for a tow? DONT THINK SO!). So today was an inconvenient $220 down the drain type of day, a ton of stress and a PAIN IN THE ASS!

I hope thats the last bad day in sight for a long time. Man it was a disappointing, crappy day! On the positive side though, the baby is healthy and growing perfectly. Can't wait for the 3D ultrasound- date changed to August 31st!!

Moving and baby "stuff"

Well, we are moving over the weekend! I can't believe I am doing this while 6 months pregnant but hey its better than 7 or 8 months..even 9 although I would never go there. We have rented a beautiful upper level of a house in Upper Lonsdale in North Vancouver. There is a nice yard for Julia, a deck for a bbq and lounging, 3 nice sized bedrooms on the upper level and a nice sized bathroom. The kitchen is nice and cozy and then we have a dining room and living room. I love that it has hardwood floors and has a cute character about it. To top it off the house is on a beautiful, quiet street and has a school with playground, etc. close by.

The baby is going to have a room! Hurray! I can't wait to start getting it organized and ready. I was trying to figure out what we need in my head but it will probably help to write it down, so here goes...

- Car Seat
- Double stroller (really like the Phil and Teds Dash)
- Baby bath tub
- Receiving blankets (have some from Julia but will definitely make some more)
- Bassinet bedding (going to sew with my Grandma with chenille dot fabric!)
- Crib bedding, I am thinking of one nice home-made crib blanket (likely going to make one for a boy and one for a girl)
- Burp Cloths
- Baby hangers
- Baby clothes but will wait until after baby is born to start buying
- Area rug for room
- Newborn diapers
- More washcloths
- Little hats for both boy/girl
- Pack of white onesies size newborn
- One boy sleeper, one girl sleeper
- "Going home outfit" for girl and boy
- Dye-free, scent-free laundry detergent
- Crib sheets
- Soothers

...I know there is much more but I am drawing blanks.

We already have:

- Bassinet
- Crib
- Change table
- Swing
- Bouncy Chair
- Bumbo
- Cuddly Wrap
- Ergo carrier w/infant insert
- Nursing pillow
- Sheep skin
- Cuddle bag for Car Seat
- Diaper Genie and refills
- Glider and Ottoman
- Portable changing mat
- Diaper Bag
- All the baby girl clothes we need if we have another girl!

Ok I'm hurting my brain here! I'm sure there are many details I've forgotten that I don't need to think of right this moment. In any case, we are slowly getting there and I'm excited!

Happy moving to us, and hopefully I don't want to kill myself by the end of this. Just taking it as slow as can be and being optimistic :)

Braxton Hicks

Today I've had pretty noticeable braxton hicks throughout the day. I barely had any with Julia until the very end, and even then I barely noticed them. These are quite strong and come and go randomly. Its a weird feeling, and feels too early but from what I've read perfectly normal especially for a 2nd pregnancy. Makes me wonder what to expect when I get closer...hope they just stay the way they are!

My stomach has been off today, and I'm not feeling great. Seems no matter what I eat gives me heartburn. I hope this is just a bad day and tomorrow everything will be back in order.

Belly @ 25 weeks

Photography

I have all these beautiful maternity shots in my mind, and really they are no good to me for myself! We have a family session booked in September for some maternity shots, and the last "official" photos of us being a family of 3. I know I will be doing a ton of newborn shots whether exhausted or not because that window is so small for the great shots in the first weeks. I'd also like to book with a photographer to get family shots with all 4 of us...its frustrating that I have all these ideas but unfortunately I can't include myself in the photos- the fate of the photographer I suppose. I don't want to pay hundreds of dollars every time so its a matter of finding amateur photographers with a great eye. I'm excited by all these ideas I have for different infant shots, especially sibling photos!

In the mean time I am going to try to get out once a week just me and my camera to get inspired and hopefully stumble upon some beautiful shots. There aren't many things in life as peaceful as going for a walk in nature, listening to my favourite tunes and taking pictures.

I'm getting more and more excited about photoshop as I work with it and get to know the program better. There are many cool pictures to come out of the next little while. Why not turn pregnant emotions into beautiful shots? There's passion and what a beautiful way to express it.

6 months down, 4 to go!

Yes, yes. Everyone thinks pregnancy is 9 months...but lets be realistic- its 10!!

But I am super stoked to be this far along, it has gone by quickly...but also feels like forever. The summer definitely helps time pass! We have a 3D ultrasound booked for Sept.7th so that is something to look forward to :)

According to various books, websites, etc. the baby is nearly 2 lbs and about 14 inches long crown to toe! I can't believe how big it is already. Baby is still on a very regular schedule. Every night at 10 pm, every morning around 6 am and then about half hour after each meal! Very strong legs on this little one when it does decide its party time!

My Mom is in town for the weekend (Thurs-Tues!) so I am having an amazing time! Its so great to have her around. Julia and I will be going to Calgary to hang out with her for a couple of weeks after my appointment on Aug.18th.

Things are great, the sun is shining and off we go for the afternoon! Will post another pic soon. I should post one with baby sitting low, and another when he/she is more upright. Huge difference- almost of looking pregnant or not!

Heat Wave= Frantic Preggo

I feel so disgusting right now. The only place I feel comfortable is in a cold shower and I can only manage that for so long with Julia roaming free around the house.

The weather has been 30+ degrees for days now and will continue on for the next little while. I am sweating gross amounts and barely able to function. There isn't really any breeze for some relief, and outside is just pure hell for me. We have 3 levels in our house- hot, boiling, and hell (where our rooms are). Sleeping has been a nightmare, all I can be grateful for is Julia sleeping through with no problems, even if she does wake up completely drenched in sweat and cranky in the morning.

The one thing I've been looking forward to is the pool at the rec center. That is soo relieving and it sort of pulls the baby off my pelvis from the bouyancy. Sweet relief. I think we'll be making that a daily event from now on.

My appetite seems to be non-existant from the heat, but I am forcing myself to eat 3 meals and drink gallons of water.

What a weird experience. I am usually all for the heat, and don't think I've ever complained about a heat wave before. Being pregnant definitely throws the body off balance. I must be in real momma mode making sure this little one is being protected from the big bad sun.

Now, time for a popsicle. I have to get far, far away from the computer as its radiating unnecessary heat!!

Pray for me, and pray for anyone who sees how scary I look when not being graced by air conditioning!

Assumptions

I am getting really sick and tired of hearing the same thing from both people I know, and don't know!

"Aw, so you're hoping for a boy this time?"

Umm, no actually. Why would you assume that so quickly? The perfect pigeon pair, a boy and a girl. Well then you would probably go further to assume that we wanted a boy first, and then a girl if we're going the perfect little family route!

We want a healthy baby! And...seriously! Not just saying that. Even if the baby isn't healthy we are going to love it to pieces regardless of any minor details!

A boy would be beautiful, a girl would be beautiful. This baby already is what it is, and has been for months now!

Argh. This is becoming really irritating. Especially coming from strangers. Is it any of their business in any case? I am trying to find a firm, but clever way to confront this question but its a difficult one. I don't want to go into long details of how we want 3 or 4 kids and hope to have at least one of each out of those numbers, because I don't find it necessary. I just don't think its right for people to assume we want one or the other!

If we are blessed with a girl and anyone cares to comment on "Maybe a boy next time." I might go absolutely ape shit on them. A baby is a person, and we are just so happy to be welcoming a person into the world. I just feel like I need to defend this very much wanted baby who is possibly a beautiful baby girl from ignorant comments from various ignorant people.

Not to diss anyone who does have a preference on the sex of their baby, that is not the point! It is people who can't help but comment on things so ridiculous! Lets be honest here too, you shouldn't be conceiving a baby if you're insistent on having one sex over the other. Its a 50/50 every time.

That is the end of my little rant.

P.S: I am on the verge of a stranger belly-grabbing rant

P.P.S: Don't grab a preggo strangers baby belly...ever.

Baby is Low, Low, Low

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the park on a beautiful sunny day, and just happened to be sitting on the ground. Well, my little bambino was sitting too...right on my pelvis! Pain all last night and still hurting today. This baby is sitting as low as possible and its feeling really weird compared to Julia who I carried very high up from 20 weeks on.

The little feet kicking my bladder are strong!!! Also feel like I have to pee 24/7 from the pressure on my bladder. I keep getting checked for UTI's and everything shows up clear. Baby is just a little too comfy! Already has a favourite spot to sleep.

I really don't know if this pregnancy could be any different from my first? Other than the fact that they are both healthy.

In other news, I have bought a couple things for baby. Its hard going gender neutral! But I have decided that white/cream are acceptable unisex colours. I bought a super comfy nursing pillow (white chenille dot), little brown robeez booties (0-6 months), and a lamb skin. I'm wondering if I should at least start tracking down some boys hand-me-downs and then if we have a girl pass them along to someone else who needs them. We will literally have no clothing for a boy. All I plan on buying before hand are white onesies and a going home outfit for a boy and a girl. I thought we would have some newborn things that could go either way, but nope! Julia had a closet full of pink, purple and girly yellow right from newborn size up!

A little update as well: Baby's first rock concert
I went to the No Doubt concert on Saturday night and baby rocked away with kicks! Probably a bit of an adrenaline rush from me as well, but pretty sure baby is a No Doubt fan :)
I'm super tired already today so better get a start on the day and get some things done!

Appointment at 21 weeks

I had an appointment today, it was pretty basic and everything is going smoothly. My midwife was surprised at how strong baby's kicks are already- I think it is pretty obvious at this point that the baby has a "do not disturb" sign hanging outside the womb. The doppler is not a favourite, and the ultrasound followed suit. Very, very strong kicks as soon as the doppler was looking for a heartbeat. Can't really blame him/her because apparently it sounds like a helicopter hovering over their heads when a doppler or ultrasound is being used. This baby is quiet, probably not a fan of all the racket? Wait til baby is introduced to Julia..yikes!

My blood work all came through this time, all looks good, all tests came back normal.

Now to find a doula. I have started my search, and should start meeting them in the next week or so. I'm going to find a good one. My midwife gave me her top 5 favourites and some other recommendations. I'm all over it!

I think I'm going to book a 3D even though we aren't finding out the sex. Its nice to see them and it would be around 30 weeks so would give us something to look forward to! I think that pretty much sums it up, next appointment isn't until Aug.18th. Until then just cooking this baby up to perfection.

Our beautiful baby!

We had our ultrasound yesterday and got a glimpse of our little baby!
The baby was unbelievably stubborn for the first 35-40 minutes. Curled up and hiding way in there. The ultrasound tech was getting frustrated because she wasn't able to get any measurements. I walked around for a minute and that seemed to help a bit. The tech was pushing soo hard trying to see and the baby was kicking at the pressure and staying low. She left for a minute to get something, and voila the baby perked up a bit and came to say hello. She did the measurements quickly when she returned and her exact words were, "the baby looks perfect, all the measurements look great. and it is so cute- look at the profile!" Jon came in and she did the little tour. The heart was beating nice and strong, a nice big brain, the little spine, cute hands waving around, a little yawn, big feet! Its really special to see the little person for the first time (well other than a jelly bean before 10 weeks), and they are already so human looking and functional at 20 weeks! The movements and everything were just so baby-like its crazy. Its so nice to hear that everything looks great and the baby is growing nicely.

It was neat to see this baby is different than Julia, we compared the ultrasounds and I guess I sort of assumed it would be exactly the same. Not sure where that logic came from? The nose is definitely close to Julia's, but the head shape is much rounder, jaw shape is different and a different chin- this baby is certainly its own little person.

I can't believe how much I love my baby already, its an overwhelming feeling. I'm just going to really try to enjoy the pregnancy because its really not long before he/she will be here. Pregnancy is my special time with this baby and I'm going to cherish the little kicks, hiccups and movements.

I do have to say though, baby is already so adorable. I can't stop looking at the ultrasound pictures and wondering who we are going to meet in November.

Zen Baby

We just got back from a super amazing perfect vacation. I feel tres relaxed and better than I have in a long time! Today I have been married to Jon for 1 year, a lot has happened in that year and I feel so blessed to have such an amazing husband and father to my children. He is truly my best friend and today all I can think of is how much more is waiting out there for us to experience together. I love you, Jonny.

Yesterday I was officially half way there! 20 weeks along, 20 more to go (hopefully no more than that!)

This baby is super relaxed and calm, or possibly just normal in comparison to Miss Julia Taylor. I don't feel constant squirming and kicks, there is mostly just peacefulness in there, and when I take the time to lie down and have a rest sometimes the little one will give a good strong kick or two. The timing is pretty regular, I can count on 10 pm for feeling baby moving around a bit, and early mornings also. Some days I have asked myself, "did I feel the baby move today?". Much different than Julia, haha. The overall feeling of this pregnancy is relaxing, gentle and quiet. I feel very at ease. This baby has a pleasant presence, its very nice. My zen baby, hopefully he/she stays that way upon arrival ;)

I am anxiously awaiting Wednesday's ultrasound to get a peek at this little person! I love the little profile shots, and seeing the little hands and feet. It still amazes me that I am growing a person inside me, a complex, beautiful little life. Life really is a miracle.

We are coming along in the name game, and sorry to all but they will remain secret until the baby decides to make an appearance! We keep coming back to one for a boy, and I'm not sure what it is about the name but it keeps staring us straight in the face and dropping hints in the strangest ways, it will not leave us alone! We have a good idea of a girl name, but it doesn't feel completely right. We're not set on it as of yet...I love it but I just don't think its "the name". Guess we will see as we go along. I'm sure theres something out there that hasn't dawned on us quite yet.

Here is an update pic, I can definitely say I've felt a "pop" in the past week alone! Belly button is pushed out and I'm finally feeling pregnant as opposed to "chubs". At least I'm only gaining in the tummy area...for now...!




20 weeks + 1 day

Amoxicillin among other things!

I had a UTI and went to get some antibiotics, I've had Amoxicillin many times before and it has always worked well for me. Well, apparently not when I'm pregnant! I took the prescription for 3 days and had violent vomitting every time I ate or drank anything. It took me 3 days to figure out it might be related to the antibiotic, and sure enough thats what it was. I stopped taking it, luckily enough the UTI was cleared up from whatever remaining antibiotic stayed in my system. The whole experience was like a flashback of the first 3 months of my pregnancy with Julia. Whew, this is just a reaction and hopefully won't be encountered ever again!

Today I had an appointment with Beth (Midwife). Fundal measurement is right on track, baby had a perfect heartbeat at 150 BPM and kicked me several times following the doppler as if to say, "HEY! what the heck was that?!" We finished off the testing, I have to go back for more blood tests because the results somehow never made it back to the clinic. Everything looked good, I don't go back until July 14th. I have an ultrasound on July 8th to look forward to!

I can't even believe it but both me and JON were able to feel baby hiccups yesterday! I didn't realize they would be noticeable to me yet, let alone Jon. I asked my midwife today and she confirmed yes it is definitely possible. They are like little twitches every couple seconds, so beautiful. Even more so was seeing Jon's face as he felt his baby for the first time!

I'm still feeling pretty ill from the antibiotic, my stomach is weak. Another day of taking it easy should hopefully put me back on track.

Lots to look forward to this summer, the ultrasound will surely be a highlight.

Also, we have officially decided we will be waiting til baby's birth day to find out if the baby is a he or a she! I will be asking for everyone's guesses on sex, birthday, weight, etc. soon so we can have it written down for later! So far the majority think blue, can't wait to see what everyone thinks!

First Official Kicks!

On Friday (15+6) I felt baby's first strong kick. It only feels like being flicked from the inside but it was quite strong and surprised me. The baby has been doing what feel like somersaults and rolling around the past couple of days with little kicks here and there. We have officially graduated out of the "flutters" and are on to more distinct movements. It feels so good, I can't even describe. Already perfect timing as I get into bed to go to sleep for the night the party begins in there. This baby is not as active as Julia so far, I first felt her at 15/16 weeks, those were flutters, and they were soo often. By 18 weeks she was kicking me regularly and very often! It will be interesting to see if this baby is more calm in the long run. Wouldn't that be different, I thought Julia's crazy movement in the womb was normal...and then she came out and she was this super easy, content, smiley baby that never cried, slept through the night in the first month and had a very easy-going nature...which turned into a VERY active, high-energy, strong-willed and clever toddler. Makes me wonder what combination we'll get for round 2! I can't wait to find out...fingers crossed for another great sleeper!

Belly Pic 15 weeks

I don't think I've seen a picture yet but yikes! I hope I'm not a pregosaurus in a couple weeks. That is a definite bump!!

Note to all non-pregnant women out there

(Found on facebook!)

Found this pretty entertaining!

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me - then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father - not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sweet Relief!

I am feeling sooo good today! I definitely think the beautiful weather is contributing to some part of it, but energy wise I feel good, I have an appetite, and I haven't had any "sick" feeling at all! I'm so happy. We have been spending the days outside for the most part, the fresh air and sunshine feel really nice and lift my spirits. We're only inside for nap time, and I like to read outside on the lawn while Julia sleeps through the afternoon.

I bought some summer maternity stuff last weekend and its nice to have things that fit now, and will fit later on in the summer. The sweats and lululemon pants were not cutting it for me. I feel so gross when I dress like I'm fat...I may as well dress like I'm a preggo. The summer maternity stuff is SO MUCH BETTER than fall/winter. I love the capri's and tank tops, halter tops, all the nice colours. Ahhh sweet satisfaction. I dreamt of these summer maternity clothes when I was pregnant with Julia and wearing all the icky winter wear. I'll have a fun bump for the summer, and then the days of beached whale will begin in the fall. I love how that worked out. Hopefully my weight will be manageable this time around. My midwife isn't concerned- she said as long as I am eating healthy and feeling satisfied, with moderate exercise that is how it should be. My body will gain as much weight as it needs...and of course I will know when I am over-doing it.

I am registering for prenatal yoga this week, that will be some nice down-time for myself. Also, Romney's pilates instructor has offered me some free instruction for prenatal pilates in exchange for taking pictures of her studio. If I like it I will definitely schedule some classes with her. I am going to commit to staying healthy and strong throughout this pregnancy. I had a slow start, but now that I am coming out of the low-energy, sick time- I am ready to get started right now! Walking for an hour everyday has been good so far, and I think the yoga will contribute nicely to that as well. I'm even thinking about aquasize one night a week too. I will be busy but at least I'll be active!

Today we are going to Granville Island when Julia wakes up. I'm going to splurge at the market and get some nice things to make for dinner. Maybe steaks? Mmmm..

Hope these good days are here to stay! Belly pic coming tonight, keep forgetting to do it but I want them for memories.

Wooohooo 2nd Trimester!

What a nice day to start the 2nd trimester! A beautiful sunny day, and a nice bbq with friends to end the day. I am finally getting a bit of an appetite and it feels good! I'll just have to be more careful this time around...don't want to feel like a whale by the end of this!

I can definitely say that I feel the baby moving now. I wasn't sure the past few weeks but now I am positive :) I had some juice just a couple minutes ago and am feeling some definite flutters. Finally I'm getting to the fun stuff!

I'm trying to enjoy all of it this time because wishing it away until the time baby comes will only cut my time short with Julia. I can't help but feel guilty that I'm doing this to her...maybe I'm just emotional. I don't know, I think giving her a sibling is one of the best things we can do for her but also I feel like I'm taking away from her. I'm sure it will all come together in the end. She is so funny, this is such a fun age. We asked her if she wanted a sister or a brother and she said "brudder", then we asked what his name should be and she replied, "foxy todd." foxy todd?! lol!! We realized she got it from The Fox and the Hound. The fox is named Todd. What a character she is. I'll have to make sure I write that one down. I hope we can make this somewhat understandable and fun for her...

Still trying to decide on if we'll find out the sex or not. I really don't know what my instinct is anymore. I guess if I stick with my first it is boy, but I think I can imagine a girl easier because I grew up with a sister. I'm not sure!! I'm worried that if we don't find out I might drive myself crazy. Still have 6 weeks to decide. I'll keep working through all my thoughts! After holding Haylia tonight all the good little girl feelings came back...baby girls are so sweet!

Next appointment is June 11th. Not too far off. All the icky stuff for this one though, ladies you'll know what I mean!

I'm still in here!

I'm not sure what the formula is, but for some reason I seem to climb into a hole within myself and stay there throughout my pregnancies. I'm not sure if this is some natural form of protecting my unborn child, or possibly just truly being exhausted. I'll just have to put it out there- I'm boring. I don't feel inspired to do much, to see much, to be out late, to "have fun" "let loose" etc. I'm just in some sort of pregnancy hibernation where I need to do quiet, calm things, have more of one-on-one time with friends and be peaceful. I'm still in here, and once the baby is born and things settle down I'll be back to my old self. Right now I feel defensive, sensitive, quiet and satisfied. I am truly happy to go to bed at 10:00. I feel a great sense of peace and satisfaction within myself right now, and it is almost like I need to be like this to maintain myself. My energy is low, but even as if begins to pick up I am not interested in the same things as usual. I don't miss going out, or drinking, or late nights at all. I'm sure I'll be up for those activities again after the baby comes but right now I am far from interested.

I apologize if I've become distant, seem uninterested, disconnected or quiet. I will be back before you know it...but until then please be patient and understanding. I still love to spend time with you, I just need you on a different energy level for the time being. I'm not pushing you away, I'm just going deeper into myself and in all truth it seems natural to me. Not as a negative occurance, different for sure, but definitely for my best interest.

I know I still owe everyone the effort and I promise that will never be abandoned!

I'm still in here, just a little quieter, a little more thoughtful, a little less enthusiastic and still loving you all very much.

Killer Heartburn

What a lovely new symptom.

I think I might actually die of this. So unbelievably painful. It's been 3 days of terrible pain that I can't get rid of. I'm going to have to go on meds. My doctor gave me the exciting news that if I have it now it probably won't let up throughout the rest of the pregnancy. I don't think I can deal with that... Haven't been getting sleep it's so bad. Also have really sore throat from the acid coming up... I can't find any foods that help either.

Looking for a solution ASAP. Back to the doctor on Monday.

Heard the heartbeat!

We went to an appointment this morning (11+3) and heard the baby's heartbeat on the doppler! It was so amazing to hear the little *whoosh* *whoosh* sound until the baby swam away. Im glad we heard it, as Susie told us we might not be able to catch it this early. But all is well and our little one has a nice, healthy heartbeat!

We did a lot of answering questions this time around, going over medical history and discussing options regarding genetic screening, home/hospital birth, different classes (there is a VBAC prenatal class for us to take!), where we wanted to do our ultrasound and finding out the sex, etc. It was a nice long appointment and both Jon and I felt really good and excited coming out of it!

We are keeping my due date at November 23 just to give those extra two days in case its needed (homebirth up to 43 weeks). I have a feeling this one won't go overdue, Julia's dates were off by at LEAST a week, possibly more. Dr. Roeck should have done a dating ultrasound as the pregnancy obviously wasn't planned and I couldn't remember the exact date of my last period. Probably should have stuck with the Feb.22 due date but she held it back at Feb.16. AHh so glad this birth will be much more planned and organized. I love making informed decisions and not being pushed in any direction/persuaded by the medical system.

We will be "officially" in the clear to tell everyone on Saturday so the news will start getting around extended family, friends and such. I'm so excited!!

Im very thrilled to be having another child with Jon. This is such a special time for us, we are going to have 2 kids by Christmas time! A family of 4 seems so much bigger than 3. It's going to be fun!

1/4 way there

I'm 10+4 today and having a rough one. I think I wore myself out yesterday with packing and moving stuff around. I am getting seriously sick of gagging and having to avoid smells. Poor Julia when I change her #2 diapers says, "sowwy mama". I feel terrible! Unfortunately her potty training has been on major detour and its not fair to her. I hope this passes soon!

I am craving fruits and veggies big time. Loving smoothies especially for nausea relief. I can't have anything greasy without paying for it, and I am now at the point of being repulsed by fast food, pizza, or anything of the sort. Food has been pretty plain lately, and I'm cool with that. The good news is I haven't put on any weight, the bad news is I look all gaunt and sickly...oh and puffy from water retention. So in other words, zombie like.

I have a slight bump now, if our life wasn't in boxes I would definitely post some pictures- next week hopefully! The bump looks like chub, but what can ya do?! I figure it won't take long to pop this time. I am having a lot of round ligament pains so I know things are growing in there.

I dreamt I had a baby girl and am now leaning more towards thinking were having a girl. So I'm just going to say, I really don't know! Those vivid pregnancy dreams throw me off my game haha.

I was on the road to thinking better days are not far off, until today :(
Oh well, the bad days are not as frequent, or as bad as they had been. Eyes on the prize!

To find out or leave it as a surprise?

Right from the beginning of my pregnancy with Julia I told Jon I was going to find out the sex of the baby. He pleaded with me for it to be a surprise. I just couldn't "not know". I hate to say it, and truly its a human tendency, but I did secretly *hope* it was a girl...I think just because I was so young and I knew I could help a daughter grow up and relate to her throughout the years. I would have of course been just as happy and excited with a boy. At this point, knowing we want 3 or 4 kids I don't have much of a preference for the sex of this baby. What is done is done! He is already a he, or she is already a she. I just hope for a sweet, healthy baby. Like I said, I kind of have an intuition that its a boy, but I think that could be the fact that this pregnancy is very different from Julia's, but as they say- "every pregnancy is different". I just have a feeling, I guess it is inevitable that we will find out! When will we find out? That is the question.

I am really considering waiting until his/her birthday to find out. I know it is something that Jon has always wanted for the birth of his children, and I do feel like I overpowered him in the decision to find out with Julia. I think the end result is that this baby will be absolutely loved no matter what the sex, hair colour, eye colour, loud or quiet, big or small, and yes- even healthy or unhealthy. I think it would be a special moment to hear that, "Its a ______!" after all the work that my body will go through to bring this little person into the world. I think its nice to go in with a couple of names for a boy, a couple for a girl, and wait to meet the little one before naming him/her. It would be a different experience then having the baby named months before he/she arrives.

I keep going back and forth, because really it is very exciting to find out via ultrasound as well. It is so nice to prepare, as I recall all the pink and girly preparations, painting the room pink, picking out the crib bedding, the little pink outfits and all the accessories that come along too. The baby showers filled with excitement over a new little girl. If we are to have another little girl we will have everything we need! A little boy and we would have quite a few things- but not a single outfit or sleeper. Nothing blue, nothing "boy". Just gender-neutral from the things we already have. I know this is easy to fix soon after "he" came home, but it was really nice to have everything prepared so perfectly for our daughter. I don't like the idea of yellows, greens, whites, "neutrals" for either a boy OR a girl. These seem like silly thoughts but they are authentic to my mushy mind right now!

We have a good 10 weeks left before we really need to decide on this, but it does pop into my mind quite often, and I feel torn over it. Right now I am leaning towards waiting to find out until the birth. I could change my mind in 5 minutes though, so I won't post about this again until we make a decision!

Exhausted

9 weeks 3 days today and I'm feeling more exhausted than I can handle. I thought maybe I haven't been getting enough fresh air and exercise so went for a walk and barely made it back. I feel completely drained and in every way. I can only hope I am over the worst of it and I will have more energy by the end of the month. I have pretty much every symptom of pregnancy, only the fatigue is extreme- but all of them together makes it all seem exhausting and the anxiety is up there. By 13 weeks with Julia I was free of morning sickness, and didn't really have anything else to complain about, so I'm hoping this time around 12/13 weeks everything lets up. I can't even believe myself, I can have a 4 hour nap, wake up at 7 and be back in bed at 10:30 to sleep for the night.

I am very lucky to have my Dad in town to help with Julia and getting ready to move. I'm glad she is with him during the day so she can play and get outside with some good interaction. I feel like I am failing on that front no matter how hard I try.

I've discovered that no matter how bad the craving, oranges in the morning DO NOT help morning sickness, my once strong love for bbq sauce is absolutely out the window for the time being, sour candy is a lifesaver, and jolly ranchers for extra-nauseous times work pretty good. Pizza is BAD. Enough about food I'm getting nauseous.

I am looking forward to May 5th appointment, will be very close to the 12 week mark by then!

Our little bean!

On Tuesday, April 14th we got our first peek at our baby. The little heartbeat was good and strong at 170 bpm, and it measured 1.93 cm. I was 8 weeks 3 days, and the due date will be Nov.21/2009.

It was such a beautiful thing to see the little heart beating away on the screen, and the technician who did the ultrasound for us was amazing. She was very sweet, and explained everything as she went along. Such a nice change from the usual at North Shore X-Ray!

We are really letting ourselves get excited now!

Thinkin Blue, Feeling Green

Well, things are very different this time around. I didn't realize how early this would be recognizable! I am thinking boy, but could just be having a different pregnancy than the first so far.

With Julia morning sickness was full fledged at 6 weeks- including throwing up 5-10 times a day and it was EVERY day. This time (7 weeks today if dating is correct) I definitely have nausea, but not nearly as badly as with Julia, haven't thrown up and it is on and off. I was pretty worried on Saturday when all symptoms disappeared as this never happened with Julia, and just having that general underlying fear of m/c. Well, did I ever get a bout of reassurance that same night, and then not so bad Sunday- AWFUL today. I am 1000 x more emotional this time around, and find myself ridiculously weepy and upset over strange things. I hate feeling vulnerable to commercials- who cries watching that crap?! Also lots of cramping this time. I was worried but my midwife assured me it is normal with second, third, etc pregnancies as stretching happens faster. I already have round ligament pains as well when sneezing or rolling over in bed. I have a feeling I'm not going to sleep well with this pregnancy...here's to hoping.

Jon has been more than amazing. He has been working, coming home to do lots of mommy-duty type jobs, daddy-duty, bed-duty and staying up later than usual with me trying to help with the nausea..not to mention the runs out to the grocery store when I feel like eating/drinking something. I love him so much, and he really does pull through when he's needed. Can't complain about the foot massages either. The nice thing is I am growing his child and that is a pretty good return of favour I would say!

Julia is still sensitive, she needs lots of hugs and cuddles which works out with my sore tummy. I hope she starts coming out of this little rut, lots of tears lately. Romney took her to the park today so I could get a little nap in. It worked out great and she napped for 4 hours when she got back. Hope she isn't getting sick!

I am really looking forward to my ultrasound next week. It will be nice to see a heartbeat, and I have a feeling that will ease most of the anxiety. Until then we are just keeping fingers crossed and glad there are strong signs- although they are quite uncomfortable.

Dating Ultrasound

April 14 @ 2:20 pm

First Appointment

Today had my first appointment at 5 weeks 2 days. Very, very early to have an appointment but had to get the ball rolling so we could secure a spot with Pomegranate! Jon had the morning free so he came with me which was nice! We met Susie Shultz, one of two midwives that could deliver the baby. She was so nice, spent a ton of time answering questions, discussing options and going over what will happen during the pregnancy. I am interested in a home water-birth, and she supports that for VBAC's so I will research it and look into it more. She even let us pick which ultrasound clinic to go to! She said North Shore sucks and that its the only one she knows of that makes the Dad wait out in the waiting room while they do measurements. We are going to do the dating ultrasound at North Shore because its close and easier, but for the 18-20 week we will go to BC Women's and they will tell us the sex! That is nice to know, and I'm glad she gave us that info! The dating ultrasound should be around 8-9 weeks. I don't have another appointment with the midwives until May 5th. So until then it is just managing the fatigue and morning sickness. The nausea has been setting in more and more each day, I'm hoping it doesn't get to the point where I actually throw up...can only hope but right now it doesn't look good. I found out they let me decide if I want to be induced, and that it IS an option if needed. I definitely don't want to go that route though. It is so refreshing to know that I get to make the decisions in this pregnancy, and they are just there to inform me and help me. Such a change from last time. There are a lot of things I am looking forward to, and I am very interested in going the hollistic route as much as possible for this pregnancy. I am looking into hypnobirthing as well after talking to a woman who said it was amazing and helped her through a VBAC with her second child.

Overall I am just tired and feeling nauseous, but I'm truckin along and happy as a clam. Its definitely a lot harder with a toddler running around in these early weeks. Last time I just slept and puked it out :P

November 23, 2009

My due date is November 23,2009. That seems so far away, but when I break it down into events that are occuring throughout the year it actually doesn't seem too too far. We'll have about a one month old for Christmas 2009. I am cautious this time around, but I'm also not going to let it ruin my pregnancy. I feel good about it, I'm having strong signs, and I am confident and excited. Its so amazing to think of the little life inside me right now, 9 months does wonders! Julia will be a few months shy of 3. I think that age gap will be nice. I'd kind of like a boy because there is a bit of an age gap, if they were closer I would have liked a girl next. I have no control over that though, and truthfully I will just be happy to have a healthy baby.

I am very focused on having a much more natural birth experience this time around. I would really like to get the midwives I had for my last pregnancy, I really connected with both of them and I felt so much more connected to the whole process through a midwife. It is such a different experience than a GP...I will definitely never go back to having a GP for pregnancy and delivery. The midwife clinic is so much more personal, friendly, welcoming and natural feeling (www.pomegranate-midwives.com). I am set on a VBAC if it is possible, and luckily they won't be able to induce me again in any case. If all goes well they will let me go into labour naturally and hopefully have as natural of a birth as possible. I would really like to consider a water birth as well, but unfortunately only BC Women's offers that and you have to be a resident of Vancouver. I could do a home birth, but I don't want to be having a home birth in a rental, and especially for a VBAC I think the hospital is a better option. I would prefer to birth at Lions Gate, but depending who is on call when I go into labour I might possibly have to go to St. Pauls- which I actually don't have any reason to fret over other than the fact that its a little farther away. Jon is very supportive of all of this, and I am very happy about that. He wants to be more involved with this birth and be more of a help to me. I want to find a really experienced doula this time around too, I'm going to get refferals from Pomegranate. Something I am going to push for is a first trimester dating ultrasound. My dates are really confusing me, and it would be nice to have a set-in-stone due date, unlike last time having it change a couple times.

Right now I'm just adjusting to the rush of hormones. I am SO tired, much more so than my last pregnancy, or even Julia. I feel like I could go to bed at 7 and sleep in until 10. I am feeling a little nauseated still, sensitive to smells and don't feel like I could stomach anything spicy. It hasn't turned into full-fledged morning sickness...I think that came at about 6 weeks with Julia. Guess we will have to wait and find out!

Its still early to be thinking of these things, but I know what I want and I think its nice to actually know what is going on this time. When I think about it I was totally clueless with Julia, I only really knew what I was told by my GP who I had 15 min appts with, and then what I read- which was from all sorts of different sources. I feel more informed with a midwife, it makes me feel more in control and less in the hands of our crazy medical system.

I am so excited, and can't believe I'm only 4 weeks. It will be blissful to hit the 12 week mark, and from then on it will be smooth sailing. Until then I will be excited, but I can't completely sweep the anxiety under the carpet. I'm thinking positive and assuming it will all go well. This time around I am going to tell close friends and family, I think its better to have the support no matter what the outcome. Otherwise its too lonely. Don't think I'll go totally public with the news until the 18 week ultrasound...that makes it seem a lot shorter. Also debating making the due date known to everyone else...just puts on more pressure, anxiety and disappointment when things don't happen right on schedule.

Anyway, next post I'll start posting some pre-belly pics. It'll be interesting to see how long it takes to show this time :D

2 Lines

In the past week I have been feeling pretty tired, and definitely haven't had much of an appetite, my boobs are sore and I've been feeling like crying over the most ridiculous things! This morning I took a pregnancy test and got a big fat positive. I seem to be pretty sensitive to reacting to hormones if I started feeling it a week before I could test. I can't even understand how I'm pregnant, it doesn't seem to match up with ovulating...unless I ovulate longer than I thought, or there are super sperm involved. But in any case, we weren't trying to prevent anything from happening and BAM on the first month, and without doing it within the window of ovulating...but hey I am super excited! If I'm 4 weeks now, and already feel a little sick to my stomach I can't imagine how bad it might get...hoping its not as bad as I had it with Julia. Although I will actually be grateful to experience anything so I know things are going/growing well. Yeeee I'm like a little kid on Christmas. I'm going to fill out the midwife intake form right away so I can secure a spot with the group I like. I figure I should be due around the end of November. Jon is really excited and making me breakfast! Happy, happy, happy!