Well, I have been asked by many what our other name choices were so thought I would share and then I'll have a record for myself :)
We never officially had a name for a girl, maybe a sign that we were having a boy?
We had Jack on the list from pretty early on and it was "the boy name" by about 25 weeks I think. Julia was into The Incredibles at the time and kept calling the baby in mommy's tummy "Jack". Whether she got it from the movie or not I will never know. It was especially consistent when we went camping in June. It really grew on us from then on and in Julia's mind this was indeed Baby Jack and there was no alternative name. She INSISTED that the baby was her brother, and his name was Jack.
Oliver was added in September. Jon's cousin had just had a baby boy (Benjamin Clive) and we hadn't been told the name yet and were waiting to hear. I texted Jon that afternoon and said "Jack Oliver!", as in "I've had an epiphany and if we have a boy I love that name, what do you think!" Jon freaked out thinking it was his cousin's baby's name. His phone conveniently died shorty after so he was left thinking it was their baby's name, and apparently ranted about it to Dallas. When I was able to explain that I liked that for OUR BABY we decided that it was definitely the name. Jon is not one to care so much so I took it as a good sign! Oliver had come up earlier because I liked it as a first name but Jon said it was a no-go...I got my way in one way or another!
When I was in labour I cried, yes cried, because I was thinking the baby was a girl and I didn't have "the girl name". Yes we could settle on something but it upset me that I didn't love any particular name and this would be our "daughters" name for her whole life! The name we would have gone with probably would have been Madelyn Audrey, I had tried to convince myself that "she" was Evelyn but it never really fit. Other names we liked as we went were: Mackenzie which we had really liked for only about a week before it got crossed off the list, Elizabeth I liked but couldn't commit because I don't like "Liz" and it seemed inevitable as a nickname, although now I think "Ellie" would be cute. Jon didn't like it anyway so it doesn't matter lol. Jon LOVES the name Anna but we felt we couldn't go there because I have a young cousin, Anna Olivia, and we are very close to their family. I love it too. Audrey was another name that I loved. Jon's grandmother in England is Audrey and she is the sweetest lady. He didn't like it because it reminds him of an old lady (go figure), but said he thought it would be nice for a middle name. Other names we liked but didn't think sounded right with Julia were: Peyton Elizabeth and Emerson. Jon never really liked Emerson but I liked it for awhile. Peyton we both liked but it didn't fit.
Other names for boys we liked were: Gavin, Leo (My Dad's legal first name), Benjamin (taken later on anyway), Owen, and Henry (Jon doesn't like it but I love it).
The other options for middle names were:
Jack Aubrey
Jack Avery
Jack Owen
Jack Brendon
I am happy to say we went with Jack Oliver! I love the name Jack for my sweet baby boy and for my future rambunctious toddler, little boy, teenager, young man, adult and old man! A classic, strong, masculine name :)
He is certainly a Jack!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
6 weeks
I really can't believe 6 weeks has gone by already. My little boy has grown so much in such a short time. When I brought him home he was just 6.5 lbs and so tiny and delicate. Now he is 10 lbs and changing every day, becoming stronger and more aware. He is definitely his own little man. Its beautiful how every person is their own person right from day 1. Jack loves to be held, he really doesn't like to be put down! Lucky for him I am forever enjoying the cuddles and closeness. He is a sweet little boy. Unfortunately Jack has some gas issues and gets quite uncomfortable. I feel terrible for him when theres not much I can do but hold him and rock him. He is starting to coo and is very smiley when fed, napped and changed. He especially loves his sister and has been saving his big smiles for her. They already have such a bond and it is so sweet. He follows her around the room with his eyes. Julia has been such a great big sister and really adores him.
Right now Jack has blue eyes, not sure if they will stay or change but all we know is that Julia's started very dark gray/blue and turned brown within the first week. He has dark hair that fell out on the top but is already growing back in! He has about 3-4 cowlicks but we'll have to wait and see for sure when his real hair grows in. The soft newborn hair isn't the real deal!
I hope to start another blog soon after Christmas about life with 2 kids, but until then I'll post little updates here!
Right now Jack has blue eyes, not sure if they will stay or change but all we know is that Julia's started very dark gray/blue and turned brown within the first week. He has dark hair that fell out on the top but is already growing back in! He has about 3-4 cowlicks but we'll have to wait and see for sure when his real hair grows in. The soft newborn hair isn't the real deal!
I hope to start another blog soon after Christmas about life with 2 kids, but until then I'll post little updates here!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
My beautiful son
On November 2nd at 2:07 am, Jack Oliver, was born.
My sweet baby was indeed a boy- my first intuition. A good sign to trust that first instinct in life!
Following is his birth story. Very detailed as I want to remember everything.
Jack’s Birth Story
My hope for this birth was to have a VBAC, go into labour naturally and experience as natural a birth as possible.
My due date was November 21st by ultrasound, and November 23rd by my last menstrual period.
At 4:00 am, November 1st, I woke up from strange dreams of having contractions and being uncomfortable. I let myself wake up thinking it was just dreams, until the next one came, followed by another about 10 minutes later. I kept thinking to myself, “these are not just uncomfortable, they are on the verge of painful”. Braxton hicks? I couldn’t be sure, but I wasn’t even officially full-term at that point, and I wasn’t really considering that this could be the beginning of labour. It couldn’t be, I was expecting to go late, possibly even into December as I had gone long overdue with Julia. I tried to go back to sleep but my mind was in full gear. I woke Jon up and told him what was going on, he was a little bit groggy but as soon as he saw me have a contraction he simply said, “This is it”. This sent me into a bit of a panic, nothing was ready. I had put off a thorough cleaning of the house thinking I had weeks to go, I hadn’t washed the baby clothes, hadn’t prepared the room, but most importantly I hadn’t let myself prepare mentally. I wasn’t ready in any aspect. I cried from feeling overwhelmed, Jon held me and rubbed my back with a gentle calmness about him. He smiled and reminded me that we were going to have a baby, possibly very soon, and nothing could be more exciting and beautiful. He gave me enough sanity to get out of bed and see if we could figure out if this was false labour or the real deal. I tried walking around to see if that stopped the contractions or slowed them down- no luck. I had some juice, and some granola and yogurt- still contracting. My final test was getting in the bath, which would surely stop it if it was indeed false labour. I was still having contractions about 9 minutes apart. I knew I should get some sleep, but I had lost any sense of being tired. Jon saw that I was starting to get anxious and he got straight to work doing the baby laundry, trying to tidy up the baby’s room, cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, tidying up around the living room and trying to make up for weeks worth of nesting at 5 am. When I got out of the bath, I couldn’t help but do a more thorough cleaning of the bathroom. I still wasn’t sure I was in labour for real, I wasn’t convinced.
I sent my Mom a text message at about 7:30 am to let her know I was having contractions that were about 8-10 minutes apart, not necessarily regular- but painful. She told me she was going to make arrangements to fly out from Calgary with my Dad, and I told her to wait until I knew if I was in labour for sure or not. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, she told me she had just woken from a vivid dream and I’d had a boy. They were on their way.
I sent my doula, Patricia, a text message to let her know things might be taking off. She wrote back letting me know she was prepared and to keep drinking lots. I called Pomegranate to find out who which of my midwives was on call. It was Beth, but I was to page Amelia, the student midwife. I talked to Amelia for a minute and she said it sounded like early labour but it could go either way and we would just have to wait and see if things would peter off, or keep progressing. Beth phoned me a little while later and I was to call her when my contractions were 3 minutes apart (from beginning of one to beginning of the next), and lasting about a minute.
Julia woke up around 9:00 and Jon fed her breakfast and put on some cartoons for her. She was concerned when she saw me have a contraction, “you okay, Momma?” By this time I was breathing through them and couldn’t speak or walk until the contraction was over. My sister arrived at about 9:30 to take Julia. While they were getting ready to leave, my contractions stopped for about 30 minutes. This made me more sceptical of being in true labour. As soon as they left the contractions returned, and became very regular at 8 minutes apart. Things took off from this point and it was a matter of breathing through contractions and walking around the house trying to find little odd jobs to do to keep distracted. I didn’t have any appetite but when I finally felt a little craving for pizza from the night before I jumped on it and ate a piece.
At noon I had bloody show, and by about 2:00 pm it finally dawned on me that this baby was coming, there was no doubt about it. I wondered if it would be that same day, November 1st, or November 2nd. My Mom and Dad arrived shortly after this realization and things began to pick up a bit. Contractions were about 7 minutes apart and lasting a minute. I was feeling them growing in intensity and wondered what was yet to come.
It was later on at about 5 pm when my Mom sent Jon, my Dad and Julia out for dinner. I was sleeping in between contractions at that point. They didn’t go too far, just to Westview near our house. About 10 minutes after Jon left I felt anxious- I really needed him close to me. My Mom called and he ran all the way back from Westview. His face was really cold and he was breathing heavily from running. My amazing guy. He massaged me and helped me through the contractions. I decided it was definitely time to call Patricia and have her come, I needed the support.
She arrived shortly after while I was in the shower. The shower felt amazing, the relief it offered was just what I needed when I started to feel overwhelmed. Patricia turned the lights off and had a nice candle in the bathroom to create a serene mood. She offered to bring the birth ball into the shower for me to sit on and I agreed to give it a try. It helped tremendously. I was just bouncing on the ball with the hot water hitting my back. When the hot water ran out I got out and tried different positions to deal with the contractions as they became stronger. The birth ball was great. I was able to sit on a chair and sleep a little bit more between contractions, and from there it became very intense.
The contractions were very strong and long, I could feel the baby being hugged tightly and knew it was getting closer. I was surprised by how powerful the contractions were, not just the pain of them, but knowing they were doing the work needed to be done. My body had taken over; a new sense of my own self had emerged. It was a very intense, spiritual realization. I went in the shower again until the hot water ran out again. By the time the contractions were 3 minutes apart from beginning of the first to the beginning of the next I became fearful. Patricia was very wise in finding the root of the fears and exploring them carefully. It wasn’t that I could not tolerate the pain, I was fearing what was yet to come. I was very anxious about the car ride to the hospital. Not a fear of giving birth in the car, but of the pain and how I would deal with it while in the restrictions of the car. We called Beth and tried to decide if she would come to the house first or meet us at the hospital. I had wanted to stay at home as long as possible in labour. With contractions 3 minutes apart and because of my anxiety of the car ride we decided to go and meet Beth at St. Paul’s. We called my Mom to come back to the house and drive us; she had gone for dinner to give us some time at home. She arrived and Jon loaded the car with the hospital bag packed that morning and the cord blood kit. Patricia came in the car with us. We left the house just before 10 pm.
I got in the car and Patricia had me go on all fours in the back seat to see if that helped through contractions. The car ride was very difficult and felt very long. I was having back-to-back contractions and they were very intense. I felt like I was going to panic, it was quite a long drive from our house even though the timing worked out perfectly with traffic. A Sunday night at 10 pm was optimal for getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. Patricia switched me into a sitting position at the edge of the seat in the car. That helped a bit but was still very uncomfortable. When we arrived at the Emergency entrance I got out of the car, had a contraction, walked into the ER, had a contraction, sat in a wheelchair, had a contraction. They were right on top of each other. We got up to the Maternity ward and I was grateful to have taken the hospital tour earlier so I felt familiar with where I was. Beth was waiting for us as soon as we got there. She took me into an assessment room and checked my vitals, and to see how dilated I was. I was at 4 cm. I felt a little discouraged but was in a deep concentration and didn’t really register the information. They had to wait on something, I can’t remember what exactly, but I was promised the shower and jet tub in the room we were waiting for. That got me through the few minutes of waiting. When the room was ready I walked over, one contraction against the wall and felt a trickle of water down my leg. My water had broken. Right away the contractions became much stronger and closer together. They turned the shower on to fill up the tub and give me some relief at the same time. When the tub was filled I sat down and didn’t find as much relief as I’d hoped. They contractions were right on top of each other. The on-call resident OB came in and talked to me about fetal monitoring, I had to sign a waiver saying I declined it although I knew the risks associated with a VBAC. Then they put in a saline lock as a precaution. I was in so much pain in the bath tub and started to panic. I asked for an epidural. Patricia kept talking me down very gently and encouraged me with how far I’d gotten and what a good job I was doing. She told me she had seen a lot of women in labour and I was handling it very, very well relative to a lot of women. I asked again, a little more franticly this time. Beth went over the risks and effects of the epidural again and told me the procedure that would need to take place before I could get one. It would be a long wait and I was already dealing with the contractions well. She offered me the gas and I declined. My rationalizing was that it was all or nothing for the pain. I wanted the epidural. Beth asked me to try the gas before we went for an epidural. I agreed. I tried it, didn’t even use it through one contraction and told them to get it away from me. That didn’t do anything for me except make me feel more nauseous. I needed to breathe through the contractions and the gas made it impossible to do that effectively. I was really becoming frantic again and needed to get out of the bath. I felt like I couldn’t handle any more. They got me up on the bed and Beth checked me again. 5 cm dilated. I felt like I was going to throw up. All that echoed in my head was “approximately 1 hour for each centimetre dilation”. I asked again for the epidural. They told me they had to put the fetal monitor on for 20 minutes and get the blood work back before I could even speak to the an anaesthesiologist about an epidural. I had no choice either way but to work through the contractions for the time being. I let them put the fetal monitor on. The contractions were right on top of each other, I was barely getting any break in between. I couldn’t believe the intensity and power behind them. I was very frightened of still having 5 hours of increasing pain to get through. I knew I was at my limit, I couldn’t go further. I was switching positions trying to work through contractions and they just kept coming one right after the other, stronger and stronger. I felt like I was going to throw up, I suddenly became extremely nauseated and my body started shaking. Then I felt something different, my body pushed. I told Patricia I felt strong pressure like I needed to have a bowel movement. She watched me for a minute and then informed Beth that I was indeed pushing. I thought that was the end of my VBAC dream. I had heard of so many women who pushed too soon without control and had ended up with a c-section because their cervix became swollen and the baby couldn’t pass down the birth canal. Beth was so calm and told me it was okay, told me to let my body do what it needed to do. “Push if you need to push.” She checked me once again and was very surprised to say I was 10 cm. Everyone was shocked. From 5-10 in just under an hour. This explained the intensity of my labour at the end, why I was feeling like I couldn’t handle more, but in beautiful perspective my body truly had only given me what I could handle. Beth told me she really didn’t think I needed the epidural, I was ready to push. I said SCREW THE EPIDURAL, I’m going to have this baby! The pushing contractions were much more tolerable and felt productive. They brought in the squatting bar and I tried pushing a bit with it. It wasn’t very comfortable for me in that position and I moved to a standing position against the bed. My legs were very shaky and I felt like I just wanted to sit on the toilet. It worked for awhile to just sit there in the dark and push with the contractions. Everyone was so calm and quiet, it was a very serene environment and that helped me to stay calm and keep going. I got back on the bed and found the best pushing position to be on my side with my legs held up, or on my back. The pushing process is a blurry memory, I was really in a zone. My Mom was there, sitting in the room quietly. I could look at her for reassurance and no words were needed. Her love was unspoken and helped me through to the end. When I felt the baby descending I could really push more effectively and things started to go a little faster. Beth would put her hand on the baby’s head and tell me to push her hand away. I could feel the head moving down more with each hard push at the end of the contraction. They offered the mirror so I could see the progress but I declined knowing it wasn’t what I needed to get to the end. Jon held my hand and I squeezed it through the pushes. He had one leg and Patricia held the other up. They told me I could feel the head and I did. My sweet baby’s head was soft and warm, squishy and I could feel the hair. I kept pushing and felt the burning start as the head crowned. Beth coached me through it with breathing and pushing instruction and soon the little head was out. I looked at Jon and I saw the absolute love and adoration on his face as he watched his child being brought into the world. He kept telling me he loved me and encouraging me. He quickly switched positions with my Mom and she held my hand for the final pushes. At 2:07 am on November 2nd, 2009 Jon caught the baby as it slid out of me. I will never forget the look on his face. He held the baby tummy down and lifted gently into the air, “Its a boy, Kira, he’s a boy!” They brought my sweet baby boy right onto my bare chest and I held his warm little body against mine. He was crying gently as they rubbed him with a cloth and he took his first breaths. “Hi Jack,” I said. “I love you.” It was beautiful. Euphoric. Everything I ever imagined and more. I was reassured instantly that I could love this baby boy as much as my first, he was perfect.
Jack found his way to my breast by himself and latched beautifully on his first try when he was ready.
There was such little interference with everything about his birth. I was able to let my body do it, and let Jack do what he needed to do. I felt so blessed to have such an amazing birth team. They were truly inspirational and made my birth experience so amazing. Every single person in the room had helped me bring my son into the world. My amazing husband whom I fell in love with even more through this experience. My Mother whose love I felt in the room the whole time without any words, witnessing her first birth- her first grandson, I am forever her baby. Beth- my midwife, a strong woman and so wise and calm; a true advocate of birth as a natural process. Patricia- my doula, a very maternal, gifted and beautiful woman who knew how to keep me focused and feel safe. The nurse was great as well, supported my birth wishes and worked beautifully with Beth- I wish I remembered her name.
Jack Oliver Farrell Simons was born November 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 am. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz, was 19.5 inches, had a head full of brown hair and grey/blue eyes.
3 weeks early. 22 hours from the very first contraction to the birth of my beautiful son. 4-10 centimetres in 2 hours, 2 hours of pushing. No tears. A natural birth, a successful VBAC. We were home by 2:00 pm the same day, 12 hours after Jack was born. I wanted to be at home with my family. I wanted a natural birth, to go into labour naturally and for my baby to be born the way nature intends. Jack’s birth was exactly what I wanted it to be. It was so beautiful.
My sweet baby was indeed a boy- my first intuition. A good sign to trust that first instinct in life!
Following is his birth story. Very detailed as I want to remember everything.
Jack’s Birth Story
My hope for this birth was to have a VBAC, go into labour naturally and experience as natural a birth as possible.
My due date was November 21st by ultrasound, and November 23rd by my last menstrual period.
At 4:00 am, November 1st, I woke up from strange dreams of having contractions and being uncomfortable. I let myself wake up thinking it was just dreams, until the next one came, followed by another about 10 minutes later. I kept thinking to myself, “these are not just uncomfortable, they are on the verge of painful”. Braxton hicks? I couldn’t be sure, but I wasn’t even officially full-term at that point, and I wasn’t really considering that this could be the beginning of labour. It couldn’t be, I was expecting to go late, possibly even into December as I had gone long overdue with Julia. I tried to go back to sleep but my mind was in full gear. I woke Jon up and told him what was going on, he was a little bit groggy but as soon as he saw me have a contraction he simply said, “This is it”. This sent me into a bit of a panic, nothing was ready. I had put off a thorough cleaning of the house thinking I had weeks to go, I hadn’t washed the baby clothes, hadn’t prepared the room, but most importantly I hadn’t let myself prepare mentally. I wasn’t ready in any aspect. I cried from feeling overwhelmed, Jon held me and rubbed my back with a gentle calmness about him. He smiled and reminded me that we were going to have a baby, possibly very soon, and nothing could be more exciting and beautiful. He gave me enough sanity to get out of bed and see if we could figure out if this was false labour or the real deal. I tried walking around to see if that stopped the contractions or slowed them down- no luck. I had some juice, and some granola and yogurt- still contracting. My final test was getting in the bath, which would surely stop it if it was indeed false labour. I was still having contractions about 9 minutes apart. I knew I should get some sleep, but I had lost any sense of being tired. Jon saw that I was starting to get anxious and he got straight to work doing the baby laundry, trying to tidy up the baby’s room, cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, tidying up around the living room and trying to make up for weeks worth of nesting at 5 am. When I got out of the bath, I couldn’t help but do a more thorough cleaning of the bathroom. I still wasn’t sure I was in labour for real, I wasn’t convinced.
I sent my Mom a text message at about 7:30 am to let her know I was having contractions that were about 8-10 minutes apart, not necessarily regular- but painful. She told me she was going to make arrangements to fly out from Calgary with my Dad, and I told her to wait until I knew if I was in labour for sure or not. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, she told me she had just woken from a vivid dream and I’d had a boy. They were on their way.
I sent my doula, Patricia, a text message to let her know things might be taking off. She wrote back letting me know she was prepared and to keep drinking lots. I called Pomegranate to find out who which of my midwives was on call. It was Beth, but I was to page Amelia, the student midwife. I talked to Amelia for a minute and she said it sounded like early labour but it could go either way and we would just have to wait and see if things would peter off, or keep progressing. Beth phoned me a little while later and I was to call her when my contractions were 3 minutes apart (from beginning of one to beginning of the next), and lasting about a minute.
Julia woke up around 9:00 and Jon fed her breakfast and put on some cartoons for her. She was concerned when she saw me have a contraction, “you okay, Momma?” By this time I was breathing through them and couldn’t speak or walk until the contraction was over. My sister arrived at about 9:30 to take Julia. While they were getting ready to leave, my contractions stopped for about 30 minutes. This made me more sceptical of being in true labour. As soon as they left the contractions returned, and became very regular at 8 minutes apart. Things took off from this point and it was a matter of breathing through contractions and walking around the house trying to find little odd jobs to do to keep distracted. I didn’t have any appetite but when I finally felt a little craving for pizza from the night before I jumped on it and ate a piece.
At noon I had bloody show, and by about 2:00 pm it finally dawned on me that this baby was coming, there was no doubt about it. I wondered if it would be that same day, November 1st, or November 2nd. My Mom and Dad arrived shortly after this realization and things began to pick up a bit. Contractions were about 7 minutes apart and lasting a minute. I was feeling them growing in intensity and wondered what was yet to come.
It was later on at about 5 pm when my Mom sent Jon, my Dad and Julia out for dinner. I was sleeping in between contractions at that point. They didn’t go too far, just to Westview near our house. About 10 minutes after Jon left I felt anxious- I really needed him close to me. My Mom called and he ran all the way back from Westview. His face was really cold and he was breathing heavily from running. My amazing guy. He massaged me and helped me through the contractions. I decided it was definitely time to call Patricia and have her come, I needed the support.
She arrived shortly after while I was in the shower. The shower felt amazing, the relief it offered was just what I needed when I started to feel overwhelmed. Patricia turned the lights off and had a nice candle in the bathroom to create a serene mood. She offered to bring the birth ball into the shower for me to sit on and I agreed to give it a try. It helped tremendously. I was just bouncing on the ball with the hot water hitting my back. When the hot water ran out I got out and tried different positions to deal with the contractions as they became stronger. The birth ball was great. I was able to sit on a chair and sleep a little bit more between contractions, and from there it became very intense.
The contractions were very strong and long, I could feel the baby being hugged tightly and knew it was getting closer. I was surprised by how powerful the contractions were, not just the pain of them, but knowing they were doing the work needed to be done. My body had taken over; a new sense of my own self had emerged. It was a very intense, spiritual realization. I went in the shower again until the hot water ran out again. By the time the contractions were 3 minutes apart from beginning of the first to the beginning of the next I became fearful. Patricia was very wise in finding the root of the fears and exploring them carefully. It wasn’t that I could not tolerate the pain, I was fearing what was yet to come. I was very anxious about the car ride to the hospital. Not a fear of giving birth in the car, but of the pain and how I would deal with it while in the restrictions of the car. We called Beth and tried to decide if she would come to the house first or meet us at the hospital. I had wanted to stay at home as long as possible in labour. With contractions 3 minutes apart and because of my anxiety of the car ride we decided to go and meet Beth at St. Paul’s. We called my Mom to come back to the house and drive us; she had gone for dinner to give us some time at home. She arrived and Jon loaded the car with the hospital bag packed that morning and the cord blood kit. Patricia came in the car with us. We left the house just before 10 pm.
I got in the car and Patricia had me go on all fours in the back seat to see if that helped through contractions. The car ride was very difficult and felt very long. I was having back-to-back contractions and they were very intense. I felt like I was going to panic, it was quite a long drive from our house even though the timing worked out perfectly with traffic. A Sunday night at 10 pm was optimal for getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. Patricia switched me into a sitting position at the edge of the seat in the car. That helped a bit but was still very uncomfortable. When we arrived at the Emergency entrance I got out of the car, had a contraction, walked into the ER, had a contraction, sat in a wheelchair, had a contraction. They were right on top of each other. We got up to the Maternity ward and I was grateful to have taken the hospital tour earlier so I felt familiar with where I was. Beth was waiting for us as soon as we got there. She took me into an assessment room and checked my vitals, and to see how dilated I was. I was at 4 cm. I felt a little discouraged but was in a deep concentration and didn’t really register the information. They had to wait on something, I can’t remember what exactly, but I was promised the shower and jet tub in the room we were waiting for. That got me through the few minutes of waiting. When the room was ready I walked over, one contraction against the wall and felt a trickle of water down my leg. My water had broken. Right away the contractions became much stronger and closer together. They turned the shower on to fill up the tub and give me some relief at the same time. When the tub was filled I sat down and didn’t find as much relief as I’d hoped. They contractions were right on top of each other. The on-call resident OB came in and talked to me about fetal monitoring, I had to sign a waiver saying I declined it although I knew the risks associated with a VBAC. Then they put in a saline lock as a precaution. I was in so much pain in the bath tub and started to panic. I asked for an epidural. Patricia kept talking me down very gently and encouraged me with how far I’d gotten and what a good job I was doing. She told me she had seen a lot of women in labour and I was handling it very, very well relative to a lot of women. I asked again, a little more franticly this time. Beth went over the risks and effects of the epidural again and told me the procedure that would need to take place before I could get one. It would be a long wait and I was already dealing with the contractions well. She offered me the gas and I declined. My rationalizing was that it was all or nothing for the pain. I wanted the epidural. Beth asked me to try the gas before we went for an epidural. I agreed. I tried it, didn’t even use it through one contraction and told them to get it away from me. That didn’t do anything for me except make me feel more nauseous. I needed to breathe through the contractions and the gas made it impossible to do that effectively. I was really becoming frantic again and needed to get out of the bath. I felt like I couldn’t handle any more. They got me up on the bed and Beth checked me again. 5 cm dilated. I felt like I was going to throw up. All that echoed in my head was “approximately 1 hour for each centimetre dilation”. I asked again for the epidural. They told me they had to put the fetal monitor on for 20 minutes and get the blood work back before I could even speak to the an anaesthesiologist about an epidural. I had no choice either way but to work through the contractions for the time being. I let them put the fetal monitor on. The contractions were right on top of each other, I was barely getting any break in between. I couldn’t believe the intensity and power behind them. I was very frightened of still having 5 hours of increasing pain to get through. I knew I was at my limit, I couldn’t go further. I was switching positions trying to work through contractions and they just kept coming one right after the other, stronger and stronger. I felt like I was going to throw up, I suddenly became extremely nauseated and my body started shaking. Then I felt something different, my body pushed. I told Patricia I felt strong pressure like I needed to have a bowel movement. She watched me for a minute and then informed Beth that I was indeed pushing. I thought that was the end of my VBAC dream. I had heard of so many women who pushed too soon without control and had ended up with a c-section because their cervix became swollen and the baby couldn’t pass down the birth canal. Beth was so calm and told me it was okay, told me to let my body do what it needed to do. “Push if you need to push.” She checked me once again and was very surprised to say I was 10 cm. Everyone was shocked. From 5-10 in just under an hour. This explained the intensity of my labour at the end, why I was feeling like I couldn’t handle more, but in beautiful perspective my body truly had only given me what I could handle. Beth told me she really didn’t think I needed the epidural, I was ready to push. I said SCREW THE EPIDURAL, I’m going to have this baby! The pushing contractions were much more tolerable and felt productive. They brought in the squatting bar and I tried pushing a bit with it. It wasn’t very comfortable for me in that position and I moved to a standing position against the bed. My legs were very shaky and I felt like I just wanted to sit on the toilet. It worked for awhile to just sit there in the dark and push with the contractions. Everyone was so calm and quiet, it was a very serene environment and that helped me to stay calm and keep going. I got back on the bed and found the best pushing position to be on my side with my legs held up, or on my back. The pushing process is a blurry memory, I was really in a zone. My Mom was there, sitting in the room quietly. I could look at her for reassurance and no words were needed. Her love was unspoken and helped me through to the end. When I felt the baby descending I could really push more effectively and things started to go a little faster. Beth would put her hand on the baby’s head and tell me to push her hand away. I could feel the head moving down more with each hard push at the end of the contraction. They offered the mirror so I could see the progress but I declined knowing it wasn’t what I needed to get to the end. Jon held my hand and I squeezed it through the pushes. He had one leg and Patricia held the other up. They told me I could feel the head and I did. My sweet baby’s head was soft and warm, squishy and I could feel the hair. I kept pushing and felt the burning start as the head crowned. Beth coached me through it with breathing and pushing instruction and soon the little head was out. I looked at Jon and I saw the absolute love and adoration on his face as he watched his child being brought into the world. He kept telling me he loved me and encouraging me. He quickly switched positions with my Mom and she held my hand for the final pushes. At 2:07 am on November 2nd, 2009 Jon caught the baby as it slid out of me. I will never forget the look on his face. He held the baby tummy down and lifted gently into the air, “Its a boy, Kira, he’s a boy!” They brought my sweet baby boy right onto my bare chest and I held his warm little body against mine. He was crying gently as they rubbed him with a cloth and he took his first breaths. “Hi Jack,” I said. “I love you.” It was beautiful. Euphoric. Everything I ever imagined and more. I was reassured instantly that I could love this baby boy as much as my first, he was perfect.
Jack found his way to my breast by himself and latched beautifully on his first try when he was ready.
There was such little interference with everything about his birth. I was able to let my body do it, and let Jack do what he needed to do. I felt so blessed to have such an amazing birth team. They were truly inspirational and made my birth experience so amazing. Every single person in the room had helped me bring my son into the world. My amazing husband whom I fell in love with even more through this experience. My Mother whose love I felt in the room the whole time without any words, witnessing her first birth- her first grandson, I am forever her baby. Beth- my midwife, a strong woman and so wise and calm; a true advocate of birth as a natural process. Patricia- my doula, a very maternal, gifted and beautiful woman who knew how to keep me focused and feel safe. The nurse was great as well, supported my birth wishes and worked beautifully with Beth- I wish I remembered her name.
Jack Oliver Farrell Simons was born November 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 am. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz, was 19.5 inches, had a head full of brown hair and grey/blue eyes.
3 weeks early. 22 hours from the very first contraction to the birth of my beautiful son. 4-10 centimetres in 2 hours, 2 hours of pushing. No tears. A natural birth, a successful VBAC. We were home by 2:00 pm the same day, 12 hours after Jack was born. I wanted to be at home with my family. I wanted a natural birth, to go into labour naturally and for my baby to be born the way nature intends. Jack’s birth was exactly what I wanted it to be. It was so beautiful.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
H1N1 and all that jazz
Well I have to say I have had a pretty intense internal struggle making this decision. I have researched as much as I possibly can, weighed the pros and cons, read a lot of articles, talked to a lot of people both professionals in the health care field and friends and family.
The biggest issue I have stumbled upon is the fact that I am in THE high risk group. This would be a completely different story if I wasn't pregnant- especially in the last month of my pregnancy. The answer would be simple- I would not get the vaccine. But I have had to take into account a couple of things:
a) We are all more susceptible to this virus because it is so new and our bodies cannot recognize it and fight it off as easily as the 'ol seasonal flu (a reason many people have only had "the flu" once, if not at all). We have all been exposed to the seasonal flu since infancy and our bodies create a strong wall against it through the years.
b) As being 36 weeks pregnant, I really cannot risk being very ill with a flu right before/during labour. I need all my strength.
c) For myself, it is quite inevitable that I will get this virus, I don't usually get the small colds and bugs that go around...but I seem to get all the bad ones, and I get very sick when I do get them. I have developed pneumonia from the flu before, and that was without any underlying medical conditions. I know from experience that I do not do well with respiratory illnesses, this seems to be a weak point for my immune system.
d) My baby is going to be born right in the midst of flu season, around Christmas time, and exposed to this virus right from day 1. I am already feeling anxious about people touching and being around the baby in the case that I do need to go to the mall, the grocery store, etc. I am going to have to keep him/her as concealed as possible from the general public. This feels a little overprotective but I do not want to risk my child getting a flu as a newborn, it would be a terrible situation.
e) Even if I can avoid this flu until after the baby is born- do I really want to be very ill with a newborn and a 2 year old? Could I handle it? Could I handle it if the baby were to become ill, and Julia too?
f) I cannot isolate myself enough to the point where I would be avoiding the virus completely. Jon works, goes to the store for groceries, works with other people. If he comes into contact with it, it can easily be spread to our home.
g) How would I feel if Julia became very ill from this? If I knew there was something I could have done. She is in the second highest "high risk" group being between 6 months-5 years old. It is another question as to if I should get her vaccinated as well...and I have to think about this in terms of all or nothing. If I get it, it really isn't as effective unless Julia and Jon are vaccinated as well.
h) The vaccine is not as tested and tried as I hoped it would be. It makes me nervous. How would I feel if down the road something comes up with my baby and it is linked to this vaccine? From all the reading and research I've done I've come to an understanding that the actual vaccine is very similar to the seasonal flu vaccine, however, I don't get the flu vaccine on an annual basis. I have had it before, with no ill effects, but I choose not to get it even still.
i) I believe our immune systems should be built naturally. I am not against childhood vaccinations, but I do think "the flu shot" is unnecessary unless I am a senior citizen. This is different though. This is me, pregnant. This is a time where I really cannot afford to be sick.
j) Hospitals and clinics are probably the worst place I can possibly find myself in if I want to avoid the virus. I will be in the hospital twice in the next 3 months- once for birth, and another time for surgery in January. In either situation I do not want to be leaving with the flu!
I think I'm going to get the vaccine. I think I'm going to get Julia the shot too, and Jon.
It's a hard decision when I know that it does technically go against what I believe, but there are risks associated this time and they do outweigh the "possibility" of side effects, etc. I think its the best thing for myself, my baby and my family. I can't protect myself by isolation, or take any other preventative measures at this point. I wash my hands frequently, use hand sanitizer, try to stay out of busy public places. But, I think it is inevitable for me as an individual- especially given my situation right now.
I hope I can live with this decision in peace, and that everything will go smoothly from here on. I am choosing not to listen to the media's hype about all of this, avoiding reading on all the kooky government "conspiracy" theories, and making this decision from my own personal research and beliefs.
The biggest issue I have stumbled upon is the fact that I am in THE high risk group. This would be a completely different story if I wasn't pregnant- especially in the last month of my pregnancy. The answer would be simple- I would not get the vaccine. But I have had to take into account a couple of things:
a) We are all more susceptible to this virus because it is so new and our bodies cannot recognize it and fight it off as easily as the 'ol seasonal flu (a reason many people have only had "the flu" once, if not at all). We have all been exposed to the seasonal flu since infancy and our bodies create a strong wall against it through the years.
b) As being 36 weeks pregnant, I really cannot risk being very ill with a flu right before/during labour. I need all my strength.
c) For myself, it is quite inevitable that I will get this virus, I don't usually get the small colds and bugs that go around...but I seem to get all the bad ones, and I get very sick when I do get them. I have developed pneumonia from the flu before, and that was without any underlying medical conditions. I know from experience that I do not do well with respiratory illnesses, this seems to be a weak point for my immune system.
d) My baby is going to be born right in the midst of flu season, around Christmas time, and exposed to this virus right from day 1. I am already feeling anxious about people touching and being around the baby in the case that I do need to go to the mall, the grocery store, etc. I am going to have to keep him/her as concealed as possible from the general public. This feels a little overprotective but I do not want to risk my child getting a flu as a newborn, it would be a terrible situation.
e) Even if I can avoid this flu until after the baby is born- do I really want to be very ill with a newborn and a 2 year old? Could I handle it? Could I handle it if the baby were to become ill, and Julia too?
f) I cannot isolate myself enough to the point where I would be avoiding the virus completely. Jon works, goes to the store for groceries, works with other people. If he comes into contact with it, it can easily be spread to our home.
g) How would I feel if Julia became very ill from this? If I knew there was something I could have done. She is in the second highest "high risk" group being between 6 months-5 years old. It is another question as to if I should get her vaccinated as well...and I have to think about this in terms of all or nothing. If I get it, it really isn't as effective unless Julia and Jon are vaccinated as well.
h) The vaccine is not as tested and tried as I hoped it would be. It makes me nervous. How would I feel if down the road something comes up with my baby and it is linked to this vaccine? From all the reading and research I've done I've come to an understanding that the actual vaccine is very similar to the seasonal flu vaccine, however, I don't get the flu vaccine on an annual basis. I have had it before, with no ill effects, but I choose not to get it even still.
i) I believe our immune systems should be built naturally. I am not against childhood vaccinations, but I do think "the flu shot" is unnecessary unless I am a senior citizen. This is different though. This is me, pregnant. This is a time where I really cannot afford to be sick.
j) Hospitals and clinics are probably the worst place I can possibly find myself in if I want to avoid the virus. I will be in the hospital twice in the next 3 months- once for birth, and another time for surgery in January. In either situation I do not want to be leaving with the flu!
I think I'm going to get the vaccine. I think I'm going to get Julia the shot too, and Jon.
It's a hard decision when I know that it does technically go against what I believe, but there are risks associated this time and they do outweigh the "possibility" of side effects, etc. I think its the best thing for myself, my baby and my family. I can't protect myself by isolation, or take any other preventative measures at this point. I wash my hands frequently, use hand sanitizer, try to stay out of busy public places. But, I think it is inevitable for me as an individual- especially given my situation right now.
I hope I can live with this decision in peace, and that everything will go smoothly from here on. I am choosing not to listen to the media's hype about all of this, avoiding reading on all the kooky government "conspiracy" theories, and making this decision from my own personal research and beliefs.
Monday, October 26, 2009
To my sweet baby,
I can't sleep tonight and most of my thoughts are circling around you and your arrival. I want to cherish this time we have together, even though I am so eager to meet you and see your sweet little face. These months of carrying you have been a blessing, and it truly is a miracle to know that I have grown you and kept you safe all this time so you can develop into your little self. I know the essence of you has always been, right from the very beginning I have had a sense of you and it is beautiful for me to experience every day, and will be every day of your life.
You are such a gentle soul, an old soul. I have sensed it from the beginning, and you fill me with such a warm charm. It is so amazing to feel you even though I have never met you. Since I first learned I was pregnant I have grown to know you in a very special soul-to-soul way, and you have given me great comfort and assurance throughout the months that you would grow healthy and strong. I feel so peaceful, and so very in love with you. I feel like we have known each other forever and when we meet again it will be a beautiful experience on so many levels.
I hope you are comfortable and cozy in these last few weeks, and that you decide to come when you are good and ready. The way you decide to come into the world is out of my hands and truly in your favour. You are a beautiful little soul. Can't wait to meet you.
I love you,
Momma.
I can't sleep tonight and most of my thoughts are circling around you and your arrival. I want to cherish this time we have together, even though I am so eager to meet you and see your sweet little face. These months of carrying you have been a blessing, and it truly is a miracle to know that I have grown you and kept you safe all this time so you can develop into your little self. I know the essence of you has always been, right from the very beginning I have had a sense of you and it is beautiful for me to experience every day, and will be every day of your life.
You are such a gentle soul, an old soul. I have sensed it from the beginning, and you fill me with such a warm charm. It is so amazing to feel you even though I have never met you. Since I first learned I was pregnant I have grown to know you in a very special soul-to-soul way, and you have given me great comfort and assurance throughout the months that you would grow healthy and strong. I feel so peaceful, and so very in love with you. I feel like we have known each other forever and when we meet again it will be a beautiful experience on so many levels.
I hope you are comfortable and cozy in these last few weeks, and that you decide to come when you are good and ready. The way you decide to come into the world is out of my hands and truly in your favour. You are a beautiful little soul. Can't wait to meet you.
I love you,
Momma.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
35 weeks and counting!
It has been quite a while since I last posted- unfortunately we still don't have internet hooked up at our new house!
A lot has happened and time has flown by. I can't believe our little one will soon be making an appearance!
To begin, my gall bladder will be removed at the end of January. Unfortunately I found out the worst way possible that I have gall stones and an irritated gall bladder...well probably the only way to find out, but I have had two pretty rough gall stone attacks. Absolutely awful and painful, easily more painful than labour. Now I feel more confident to get through labour actually! I've changed my diet quite drastically and until yesterday I hadn't had any greasy/fast food. Man were my onion rings and chicken fingers good....mmm. Won't be making a habit of it though, had to suffer through heartburn the rest of the day! I was a little concerned with my weight because of cutting fat out of my diet, as I lost almost 3 lbs but have now started to climb back up. I figure I'll have gained almost 25 exactly by full term. Its been easier to stay on track this time, but I also haven't cared for junk food. Makes a huge difference.
Last weekend Jon and I snuck away to Victoria for a last hurrah before we have 2 kids! We stayed at an absolutely beautiful B&B (ambrosiavictoria.com) which included gourmet breakfast (truly delicious, cannot recommend enough!). We walked around downtown Victoria, ate at great restaurants, walked some more, caught a movie, and caught up with each other and had time to really enjoy each other! The room was so nice, and had a jet tub and rain shower. Total luxury compared to our little house with a mattress on the floor (mental note: BUY A BED FRAME ASAP!!). My Dad was great to come stay with Julia for the weekend and she had a fun weekend as well. Everybody was relaxed and happy by Sunday night.
I can officially say I'm uncomfortable. My pelvis feels like its going to break, I'm exhausted by the end of the day- even with a nap. I have braxton-hicks contractions all day and they drive me crazy. I have to breathe through some of them as they can get quite uncomfortable. Its just an inconvenience and I never had them with Julia. Hope its doing some sort of good for preparing for baby's arrival.
This baby is still my zen baby. Very calm and not very active. Lots of sleeping, a couple of nudges and little elbows and knees, but no frantic movements or constant squirms. Sometimes it worries me but I really think this baby is just more of a gentle soul. He/she reacts the most with movement to Daddy's voice over anyone else. Have to mention the hiccups too, at least 5 times a day!
I've been craving candy like crazy. Its the weirdest thing to want silly childish things like sweet tarts, nerds, gummy bears, etc! Can't get enough of it all. I guess I'll take it over craving greasy food like I did with Julia! MMM Halloween is coming!
We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. It was so nice to have everyone together, friends and family. The dinner turned out SO good (still got to enjoy Momma's cookin in the comfort of my own home haha). I don't think I've enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner as much as I did this year, well except for when pregnant with Julia I guess! I love the tradition of the holiday, and I'm so happy to share it with my child- soon to be children!.
I'm going to start making receiving blankets soon, I'll make some girly and some boyish and then gift whatever I don't need later! Sewing will be a nice way to feel like I'm nesting without going over the top so early.
To end this post, I really feel confident that baby is a girl! I'm not sure why, but I just have that feeling. Now I can say I have officially gone back and forth strongly in both directions but I think this will last. I would be really surprised if we have a boy. I'm pretty sure its a girl, and especially going through Julia's baby clothes it got me pretty excited and into the baby girl zone. Oooooh either way I can't wait! Getting so anxious and just want to meet this sweet little baby!
I'll try to update more often. More belly pics to come soon. I'm actually quite small, and people don't fail to tell me every freakin day! I apparently don't look as far along as I am, but I'm just glad I'm not looking like a hungry pregnant monster.
A lot has happened and time has flown by. I can't believe our little one will soon be making an appearance!
To begin, my gall bladder will be removed at the end of January. Unfortunately I found out the worst way possible that I have gall stones and an irritated gall bladder...well probably the only way to find out, but I have had two pretty rough gall stone attacks. Absolutely awful and painful, easily more painful than labour. Now I feel more confident to get through labour actually! I've changed my diet quite drastically and until yesterday I hadn't had any greasy/fast food. Man were my onion rings and chicken fingers good....mmm. Won't be making a habit of it though, had to suffer through heartburn the rest of the day! I was a little concerned with my weight because of cutting fat out of my diet, as I lost almost 3 lbs but have now started to climb back up. I figure I'll have gained almost 25 exactly by full term. Its been easier to stay on track this time, but I also haven't cared for junk food. Makes a huge difference.
Last weekend Jon and I snuck away to Victoria for a last hurrah before we have 2 kids! We stayed at an absolutely beautiful B&B (ambrosiavictoria.com) which included gourmet breakfast (truly delicious, cannot recommend enough!). We walked around downtown Victoria, ate at great restaurants, walked some more, caught a movie, and caught up with each other and had time to really enjoy each other! The room was so nice, and had a jet tub and rain shower. Total luxury compared to our little house with a mattress on the floor (mental note: BUY A BED FRAME ASAP!!). My Dad was great to come stay with Julia for the weekend and she had a fun weekend as well. Everybody was relaxed and happy by Sunday night.
I can officially say I'm uncomfortable. My pelvis feels like its going to break, I'm exhausted by the end of the day- even with a nap. I have braxton-hicks contractions all day and they drive me crazy. I have to breathe through some of them as they can get quite uncomfortable. Its just an inconvenience and I never had them with Julia. Hope its doing some sort of good for preparing for baby's arrival.
This baby is still my zen baby. Very calm and not very active. Lots of sleeping, a couple of nudges and little elbows and knees, but no frantic movements or constant squirms. Sometimes it worries me but I really think this baby is just more of a gentle soul. He/she reacts the most with movement to Daddy's voice over anyone else. Have to mention the hiccups too, at least 5 times a day!
I've been craving candy like crazy. Its the weirdest thing to want silly childish things like sweet tarts, nerds, gummy bears, etc! Can't get enough of it all. I guess I'll take it over craving greasy food like I did with Julia! MMM Halloween is coming!
We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. It was so nice to have everyone together, friends and family. The dinner turned out SO good (still got to enjoy Momma's cookin in the comfort of my own home haha). I don't think I've enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner as much as I did this year, well except for when pregnant with Julia I guess! I love the tradition of the holiday, and I'm so happy to share it with my child- soon to be children!.
I'm going to start making receiving blankets soon, I'll make some girly and some boyish and then gift whatever I don't need later! Sewing will be a nice way to feel like I'm nesting without going over the top so early.
To end this post, I really feel confident that baby is a girl! I'm not sure why, but I just have that feeling. Now I can say I have officially gone back and forth strongly in both directions but I think this will last. I would be really surprised if we have a boy. I'm pretty sure its a girl, and especially going through Julia's baby clothes it got me pretty excited and into the baby girl zone. Oooooh either way I can't wait! Getting so anxious and just want to meet this sweet little baby!
I'll try to update more often. More belly pics to come soon. I'm actually quite small, and people don't fail to tell me every freakin day! I apparently don't look as far along as I am, but I'm just glad I'm not looking like a hungry pregnant monster.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Our Sweet Baby!
On Monday we went for our 3D Ultrasound and got a beautiful glimpse at our little baby! It was so clear this time and we were able to watch 30 minutes of what our little one was up to! To summarize, the baby was trying, and eventually succeeded, in sucking on his/her toes! I was amazed to see baby open his/her eyes, grab the umbilical cord, hold the toes. Baby was yawning, and we saw the little tongue sticking out too!
I really can't even put into words how much I love this little one already, and how amazing is it that I can't even label it as a girl or a boy! I just love the baby so much as is, its an incredible feeling! The little pouty mouth and chin, little ears, a cute button nose so similar to Julia's! The ultrasound tech kept commenting on how chubby this little one is already (based on 28 weeks), and sure enough we saw chubby little feet, a chubby chest and cutie chubby cheeks! The weight was approx. 3 lbs and a couple of ounces which is on the larger size! We were able to see that baby has hair already, and I was delighted to see a little widow's peak to match Jon! Much more defined than Julia's rounded hair line!! In my opinion this baby already looks a lot like Jon, more so than Julia, although there are many similarities to Julia as well- Jon's qualities I'm thinking!
We were really leaning towards thinking the baby is a boy, but I can't seem to commit to that guess! I guess I can imagine a girl easier, even though I feel like it is a boy. I was thinking earlier today, I probably wouldn't be surprised either way! It really is a 50/50 and I don't think intuition or the way the pregnancy has been going can factor in to the probability! Keeps me wondering for sure, is this a sweet little boy? Or a sweet baby girl with a very different personality than Julia!
I can't stop looking at the pictures, such a sweet little face.
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